HIS Sketch

Analysing Facebook posts Part 2

2012-01-30T22:55:00.004+08:00

June 2011- Dec 2011

06 June:

One of my old blog post:

I try to be nice
so I willingly
let people manipulate me
so I can be their friend
Yet I want something in return
which I usually I don't get
And I think people hate me
and I think I did something wrong
So, I try to be nicer
so I willingly
let people manipulate me
...

Comments: emo

07 June: "serial muggers are the best coachers, imo" - refering to a friend's mugger friend who does pullups by pure determination and has inspired me to do likewise.

11 June: "haha im playing runescape after 2 years." - Reliving childhood memories (5 likes)

12 June: "i suddenly miss my old friends :'("

14 June: "i wanna pussy... cat :(" - to which, someone responded, "Wanna know what's huge, my cock... iness" (which got more likes than me lol)

16 June: "am sewing a costume" - referring to cosfest with MAGIC where I made an arctic fox hat

16 June: "oh gosh, synthetic fur-storm here. now i know y my mom dont let me keep a cat."

17 June: "i know i'm backsliding whenever i ask myself "where did i put that bible?" :(" - I could not find my bible

19 June: "wahhh david choi in SG from 21-22 june :O"

19 June: "i hate fb chat. everyone keeps "daoing" me when they aren't." - in response to failed convos on fb

23 June: "wake up, read notes, try to memorise, fall asleep, wake up, eat, open notebook, stare, check facebook, play facebook, convince myself to study, fall asleep." - i share the same experience as 5 people

24 June: "‎;("

25 June: "i was i can study, but PW is making me depress."

28 June: "my coincidences are fates" - meeting sec school friends at the busstop while i was on a bus

29 June: "JCT= Justified Compulsory Torture" - 11 likes

2 July: "anyone knows any shirt and/or badge suppliers? ):" - for class tee

2 July: "‎:O just learnt that 2 quicksilver logos make a roxy logo"

5 July: "finally got a new com! :p" - my mac

8 July: "What i learnt today:

With obsession comes aggression
With aggression comes regression
With regression comes depression
With depression comes confession" - was angry at gamma board incident

8 July: "You can't expect the unexpected because the unexpected is something you don't expect." - ???

10 July: "SRP: so much forms to fill @.@" - was really getting stressed out

11 July: "‎"friends are people who stab you in the front" :D lol"

13 July: "so baby keep my heart beat beat beat beat beating!~" - Stereo Skyline - Heartbeat

14 July: "Please support TOOP CAMBODIA's badges haha ^^" - helping a friend

17 July: "I wanna go walk on Tanjong Pagar's railway :(( closing today sia" - regrets about procrastinating

18 July: "D: goshhh. staying up just to wait for my to finish uploading my torrent." (Adobe master series)

18 July: "‎): didnt defer for NS online in allocated time period. Got a further reporting order from NS to go bring barang barang and have medical checkup/cut botak. OMG, what should i do? :(((" - Epic stress moment and overreaction

18 July: "OH STRESS OH STRESS OH STRESS ><"

19 July: "‎;'( i lost yamamoto keychain" (from cosfest)

23 July: "flu flu flu flu flu"

25 July: "i feel like i'm holding a time bomb." - describing the lack of time for assignments and the looming deadlines

26 July: "you're not stupid, you're not slow, you are just using the wrong technique." - convincing myself about managing my emotions

26 July: "‎"Don't freak out, stay calm and carry on" - Mrs Lam"

27 July: "i smile so much that when i wear my normal face, people think i'm angry. lol!

1 August: "It's National Book Week. The rules: Grab the closest book to you. Go to page 56. Copy the 5th sentence as your status. Don't mention the book. Post these rules as part of your status. "Mariam nodded." (guess what book is this? XD)" - It's Thousand Splendid suns which I read in the June holidays

9 August: "

My colour is: CYAN! (damn u Osel for such a hard colour xD)
Is this my favourite color?: no my fav colour is brown
Would I dye my hair this color?: If I am Miku's boyfriend
A food this color?: I EAT MIKU?
A drink this colour?: Mountain dew voltage
An animal this color?: Kingfisher

Like and I'll give you a colour. :DD

" - 5 likes

9 August: "baby face united! ^^"

12 August: "quote from Adrienne, “The seconds pass by slowly but the days pass by quickly.”" - talking about how fast JC goes by

13 August: "carelessness kills :( threw my retainers away. ;A;" - i add to my own misery :(

13 August: "remedy for fatigue: stretching." - it really works!

13 August: "crap. citationmachine.net just changed its layout. damn hard to use!" - 5 likes. PW's gonna be harder

18 August: "When I was 14

I want to be a : CAT
My best friends are : CAT
I am in a relationship with : CAT
My biggest fear : CAT

Like this and I'll give you an age :)"

My subsequent comment when asked:

Felines. Or for an even lamer but true anwer:
1. Creative Art Teacher
2. Computers And Technology
3. Cant Always Tell!
4. Cockroaches Are Terrible

22 August: "my most feared 2 words: "low ink" - referring to printer failing to save you from PW

23 August: "written in black and white... like my tan :D" - like seriously? was i that lame?

24 August: "just choked on something. coughed and cried because it was blocking my airway and i realised i haven't been treasuring my life ;/" - i'm so overreacting :(

25 August: "I do not ask for easy paths

Along life's winding roads
But for the promised grace and strength
To carry all its loads
- Meadows"

26 August: "met an OCD kid on the bus who kept wiping his snot on the bus window. I regret not bringing tissues today :(" - nice way of saying it was gross

28 August: "Today's journey:

Serangoon-Paya Lebar-Lavender
Lavender-Paya Lebar-Dakota
Dakota-Serangoon-Seng Kang
Seng Kang-Hougang
Can't wait to drive! x("

- friend comments 'drive on what?", 'car', 'what's that?', 'oh i forgot you live in flintstone era', 'but flintstone also got car what!' LOL

29 August: "TAU SAR PIAH! ><"

31 August: "draining my life force to economics (O).(O)"

31 August: "spent $21 for taxi ride to rush to NUS and get an prof (about to leave) to make a squiggly signature on my form (due tomorrow) for 2 seconds." - haiz, the costs of H3 lol

2 September: "is there any mac users who knows how to use parallels?" - desperate to download stuff on mac

2 September: "a random stranger on the MRT started a friendly convo with me. it's these acts that make me love life! :)" - 6 likes and it was Malaysian woman who was trying to open a packet with a toy and a piece of plastic flew towards me. She apologised than started talking about getting 'conned' by the salesman and it continued on lol!

2 September: "‎"Please give your seats to elderly children" - Kok Aye" - referring to my silliness in reading the sign wrongly. (cock eye)

4 September: "‎"if crayons can draw, so can marcus"" - 8 likes, my signature quote

4 September: "finished "watching on the fringe" haha."

5 September: "feel a little awkward on fb cos everyone's talking about SLC camp. -.-" - it was always happen. A big event on a Sat that I totally miss and everyone talks about it lol.

6 September:"freakin pissed at softwares that run only on windows >:("

7 September: "One step at a time! 5k run today and thanks to XXX for encouraging me to push the limits! :)" - Track and field!

7 September: "seeing everyone befriending everyone else makes me realise how small Singapore is." - me being positive towards SLC

9 September: "My takeaway today: "When in doubt, go God's way."" - don't decide on your own

10 September: "‎>:( cant connect phone with mac."

11 September: "‎1 and a half hours to go :(" - about the holidays ending

14 September: "the time is now, the place is here"

19 September: "i shall study at my void deck tomorrow for a change (:" - i didn't

21 September: "my bus 854 just had an accident, but thank god no one's injured n the bus had only 2 scratches on the window. Stuck for 20 mins." - me is total freak out that day

1 October:

"‎____━━____┓━╭━━━━━╮

____━━____┗┓|::::::^━━━^

____━━____━┗|:::::|｡◕‿‿◕｡|

____━━____━━╰O--O-O--O ╯" - nyan, 4 likes

3 October: "just one more paper. i'm so excited! xD"

4 October: "‎:'( what's more depressing?
1. not studying for a paper
2. pen ran out of ink during paper
3. refill also ran out of ink during paper
4. losing pencilcase after paper" - terrible chem paper moments

5 October: "i found my pencil case ♥"

7 October: "this year, water is man's enemy: rain, more rain, flooded streets, flooded fields, tsunamis and not to mention dead bodies in reservoirs."

10 October: "what the hell is wrong with my intonation?" - pissed that every PW rehearsal, i get this comment :(

11 October: "‎"Bedok Resevoir is for drinking, please drown at Pasir Ris Park instead"" - 5 likes

11 October: "freak why must everything happen on a Wednesday morning OR lunch? >:(" - ranting about clashes

18 October: "what's between caldecott and botanic gardens?" - random musings

20 October: "contacts= eye scream"

25 October: "Thank goodness its Deepavali" - a much needed break

27 October: "at the end of each day, i'm glad i have a home where i can just relieve all my burdens."

29 October: ""Japan- oh no! it's a tsunami :(
Thailand - oh no! it's a flood :(
Singapore - oh no! it's a resevoir :("" - 10 likes, my fav joke of the day :)

30 October: "tomorrow D:" - promos

1 November: "‎:( lost I&R" - never found it

1 November: "every earth-shaking event has an aftershock :s" - still feeling upset

3 November: "‎"my life in JC is stressful"" - quoting my PW video intro, 6 likes

9 November: "Suffering from post-peedup syndrome" - suddenly, feel so free

10 November: "cant think of what to do tmr at 11.11am..."

11 November: "hey everyone! rmb to post something at 11.11am today! :D" - i was drawing

12 November: "im a tintin fan lol///" - 4 likes, -> ppl with taste haha

13 November: "my arms can't straighten without hurting ;'(" - due to track

13 November: "like srsly, my eyes are ok. i no need an eye test."

22 November: "dreamt i was sentenced to jail and woke up before the final verdict."

22 November: "

one of my fav jokes:

English teacher: Ok class, form a sentence with the words 'chicken', 'nut' and 'bread'.
Thai: I like to eat chicken, nut and bread.
English teacher: Ok, good, but not that interesting. How about you?
Indonesian: My chicken likes to eat nut and bread.
English teacher: Ok.... How about you?
Filipino: One dey, I put de plastic bag oba my sistah's head and chicken nut bread." - goodness, i had to explain it

24 November: "upset... down :(" - both a parody and upsetness

24 November: "Lord, i thank u for making weekends. Happy thanksgiving." - trying to pay attention to other things

25 November: "my phone cant display names on SMSes. I wrote down all my contacts down and learnt that the most popular numbers start with '96', followed by those starting with '81'. (:" - another eureka moment

20 November: "i hate the feeling of regret when u didn't do something u could have done if u had asked/explored the possibility.
but i hate the feeling of getting degraded for asking that question even more."

3 December: "LAST NIGHT'S VULCANS OGL DINNER WAS FREAKIN AWESOME.
(haha, everybody woo woo)"

5 December: "this week: a treat, a marriage, a graduation." - JTS, a teacher's wedding and senior's grad nite

10 December: "Tonight's moon eclipse!! :O Quick look outside, gonna be fully covered soon!" - i went to see it with my mom

11 December: "my mom's a clean freak. i have her genes. :O" - to which my sister responded 'sadly, i don't'

11 December: "Having a life is not about the socialising but about enjoying everything you do." - 7 likes, i'm actually referring to my HC term, since i'm not actually a good socialite

14 December: "disappointed that the finale of the amazing race 19 was too obvious :("

17 December: ""let's spend new years eve together...

stuck in an MRT train! :D" - 4 likes, referring to the movie 'New Years Eve' where there was a scene of a lift breakdown + the mrt breakdown saga on 15 Dec

18 December: "i'm amused by the number of girls changing their DPs to A&F models. heh" - 6 likes, all guys

19 December: "R.I.P. kimchi"

28 December: "Time is running out. Every second counts now." - last minute holiday homework

31 December: "craving sushi." - was reading about them

31 December: "Happy New Year! :D"

2 January: "yesterday is the first time i've enjoyed shopping." - went H&M with my mom and bought awesome stuff

4 January: "so much politics, rumours and tension :(
life should be simple" - i'm shocked by the amount of debate that went on

6 January: "i just discovered that my mom's watching the same chinese drama as me. #awkward." - it was "code of Honour", I heard my mom playing the drama theme song

7 January: "spent 1 hour tagging photos :p" - for OGl camp

8 January: "my newsfeed is filled with cheerleaders haha." - from open house

9 January: "Band 1 Xinmin! :)))))))" - YAY! release of O level results

15 January: "‎28 months in London :O" - breast cancer awareness thing

22 January: "can people really change?" - musing about ex-dad

22 January: "Angpao is the flow of money (: #Econs" - yay econs

23 January: "Have a LONG new year ahead :)" - oh gosh, puns

23 January: "gotta pouch just for keepin angpaos :D :D :D" - YAY

30 January: "Hi juniors, at about this time last year, I was thinking about how unfair life was when I'm not at the places I want to be in. Strangely throughout the past year, it was in places that I least expect to be in, that I have learnt to forge new friendship, face new challenges and always remember that I define my life, no matter where I am placed in." - was actually feeling depress about a lot fo stuff that day but then realised that i should help others overcome their depression first.

Analysing Facebook posts Part 1

2011-06-06T09:22:00.009+08:00

Here's a collection of Facebook statuses (is there such a word?)

31 December: It's 2011, and my funny bone just killed me :p lol

Ok, bad example. this post was referring to my collarbone which has these occassional seizures. It's strange because it isn't a common place for funny bones to happen.

03 January: Project serve camp tmw. I should be sleeping :)

Again, just a very normal post. Yes, it's about this camp by SYFC. (not the flying club!)

04 January: camping at woodlands!

The camp turned out to be at a BB campsite

06 January: wish everyone shall be blessed this Monday!!! :]

This is with reference to O level results. Surprisingly, only 2 likes

08 January: feelings are excellent liars

Not a good post because i'm being Captain Obvious. Deep down, I was nervous, but I was very phlegmatic on the outside

08 January: tomorrow!

O level results.

10 January: I will go Lord, if you lead me

This is about project serve i guess. Somehow, these Christian song abstracts get around 3 likes

11 January: God will make a way, where there seems to be no way

Same as above, also 3 likes, 1 person was the same as above

13 January: submited JAE, yay!

Still in project serve. I submitted mine early to avoid any Internet traffic.

15 January: ate porridge, sneezed marmite!

BAD BAD example. never say anything gross online

17 January: trololololo!

Just like the "nyan cat" which will come a few months later, avoid spamming people's facebook wall with these "viral video" quotes haha.

19 January: Today's recre is fun!!! :D let's do it again sometime!

Sadly, no one liked this :( It was this recreation I planned during project serve to bring O-leavers together to evangelise the gospel. Apparently, some of them were shocked and appalled because they thought they were just having fun, but it turned out to be some RELIGIOUS occasion.

20 January: met 华老师 While passing hougang stadium!! :)

No likes. :) but I love meeting people i know on the streets.

20 January: sore throat again )':

Down with sickness

22 January: flu is epidemic. darn ):

Same. It's spreading in project serve

23 January: i'm worried about Wednesday :(

Probably referring to the JC results

24 January: arranging certs. should have done that long ago :p

My mom made me do it. but it was really worth it

25 January: could log in tj's portal lol.

This was a very subtle yet defining moment of my life, where i unofficially discovered where i will spend my 2 years mugging. What's interesting is that this was immediately after the 402 Amazing Race, and we were just casually "trying our luck" on someone's iPad.

26 January: this weather makes me drowsy :(

This is referring to the rain on the first day of school (which is always a tradition)

27 January: BIO BIO BIO!!! I LIKE TJ BIO :D

It's funny, because now I don't have the passion and innocence i used to have. I thought it was cool that the Bio department was all-female. Now, not so amusing.

28 January: vj rejects me! So unfriendly lol. Jk

): no offence, but I was wearing the mask of ignorance and bliss, pretending i wasn't affected when i really was. I have said this and I shall it again: "I have no regrets coming to TJ now that i think about it"

29 January: time to get new shoes!

My OGL's response was to state the school's criteria for shoes :)

30 January: i can't see anything beyond my window. too much condensation.

Again, the wet weather

30 January: under my umbrella-ella-ella-ella AIYOH SO WET!

Again, the wet weather, in a lamer tone, which got 1 like.

31 January: i wanna learn dancing now haha :p

The after effects of Orientation. Believe me future juniors, it will die down, unless you are really the dance machine

02 February: being late = whole day ruined :'(

That day, I was late for school (CNY celebration). I was really pissed because it was still during orientation period (and I was trying a new bus route). Life is unfair, just face it.

02 February: i'll take this pocky, and EAT IT!

Oh my... my obsession with pocky.

05 February:

Christmas: wahh so fat!

New year: sian, cannot wear this liao...
CNY: *looks at mirror* WHO IS THIS? DX

My friend had an interesting intepretation. He said by CNY, I was shocked because I look too hot. Yes, optimism.

05 February: finally got a copy of my daily bread! XD

Daily bread refers to the mini-Christian devotion book, which i sadly didn't have much time to read

09 February: mom wants me join debate (for GP sake) and squash (for NS sake). 4 days/week! X( dunno if i should listen to her...

A typical dilemma with a "mom intervention". It turns out I joined neither (ok, i know squash rejected me, boo hoos). My friends told me that both don't help GP and NS.

11 February: track gave me sore calves lol

And yes, the next post reveals my new CCA

12 February: ‎[M]y [A]ttitude [R]eally [C]hanges [U]nder [S]tress

Just being lame

13 February: Happy Valentines ♥

I am shocked because my post is on the wrong date

14 February: ‎*NAMES* We're runners in road run! (Group 16) :D

Sadly, there was no run. I was cancelled twice due to the weather. Darn you weather!

15 February: Track arh! [: since squash didn't need me

Once again, a case of self-denial.

16 February: @TJ hub with *NAMES*

Yeap, the OG people. We did our homework together. We don't hang out so much now :( It's normal i guess.

16 February: Lord, please make me less skeptical. How can others trust me if I don't trust others? :\

I was trying to make a joke about our OG inside joke that I have "trust issues", while hiding the real problem: I tried to join the dance SIG (which was never made), and my friend, who was trying to create it, doubted i could dance. Ok, maybe I joined because I just wanted to support them, and not dance (Orientation ecstasy had died down). When i finally admitted I might be off drawing than dancing, she motivated me to make the MAGIC SIG. And believe me, that's how it started.

19 February: LOL saw an angmor flagged for a taxi on the right side on a one way road.

I know, i know... They drive on the right side of the road. But it's really funny.

21 February: finally done with dsta! *so tired*

A brutal attempt at clinching some scholarships because my friend also did. It was stupid move, because I had to photocopy many certs and other stuff one day before the deadline, and got told a few months later that i wasn't successful

22 February: cleaned the school gym during track n field today! sai kang? lol :]

Trying to be positive here. It actually beats PT, which beats actually running on the track?

23 February: that over-ambitious feeling of signing up for almost everything

In response to applying for DSTA, I realised that I've trying too hard to undo the mistake that i made in Secondary school: not signing up for anything- leading to a bad portfolio. But now, doing the opposite seems to make me guilty. In fact, 7 people agreed with me.

23 February: i'm learning how to tie a turban!

The class needed a Professor Quirrell for a book review. We did Harry Potter, so obviously, they need a bad guy. Because i'm obviously a goody guy, taking this role makes it funnier.

24 February: Bus 165 seriously failed. Over 40 minutes of waiting with easily 100+ people in line. what could be worse? having someone who's complaining/swearing behind me alight at the same bus stop as me. sigh :(

This situation will continue to happen for the months to come, which often deters me from taking an MRT

24 February: WOOHOO! My braces treatment is finally over after 4 years! :DDDDD

(so sorry to my CG for being impatient and the dentist for arriving late. :x )

On the bright side, on the same day, my wait to get my braces removed is done!

25 February: ohh the uncertainty! :O

I was talking about Gamma's Cheerleading auditions

25 February: i'm impressed with God, because in each bus ride home this week, there's always a different someone i know. =]

Indeed, everyday that week, I was sitting with someone I know on the bus

26 February: D: am i not enthu enough?

I didn't get into Gamma's Cheerleading, and felt that the whole world was over. I thought I may never get into HC. Thankfully, it was this setback that made even more determine to get it.

27 February: Thanks for the outing!! (((: *NAMES*

Awww, my OG people brought me to Pastamania for my birthday!

28 February: Hey everyone, thanks for the avalanche of birthday wishes!! [X This year has been the most I ever received! T.T so touched! Please give me time to reply one-by-one. Haha, once again, thanks!!! =)

Ever since I came to TJC, i was very determined to make new friends, unlike my anti-social episodes in Secondary school.

01 March:

In every interview we cannot pass

God has better plans for us.

I was probably talking about cheer auditions, making the best of the worst situation

02 March: eye HURT, teeth HURT, brain HURT

3 things: contact lens, retainers, and trying to set up MAGIC

03 March: All the best to A-level leavers for tomorrow's results! =D

I simply echoed what others are doing.

06 March: went to Mustafa. I ♥ Little India :D

My MRT nickname is little India, so when my mom brought me there to get headphones. I'm like ooo, i'm going inside myself!

08 March: did his most hiong 800m run ever! though I AM NUMBER FOUR (from the back), all the matters to me isn't winning but having people who cheered on my side. Thanks everyone! :D

Undeniably the most memorable moment of the first term, where I tried the 800m heats for Track and Field meet. And I guess, amidst my crazy "signing-up for everything" and "trying to be a winner", i finally understand that it's not about the goal, but about the people in the process.

10 March: woah damn. TJ has so many fit people!

In addition to 800m, i tried the long jump heats, which i sadly got last by a million yards. That time, I just had TOOP interview with a girl who turned out to be the student helper for the long jump heats. She said I was darn good at the interview, and then, suddenly, I had to show my weak side to her. It was kinda embarrassing. :x

11 March: "Love thy enemies" doesn't apply if my greatest enemy is myself

I really disliked somebody in school. That person was kinda backstabbing. I kept telling myself to change my perspective. So i came up with this quote.

11 March: i repeat, i DO NOT have trust issues! [=

My friend saw "tissues"

12 March: God bless Japan

Earthquake. nuff said.

20 March: didn't see the moon yesterday *bangs head on wall*

The moon was supposedly the largest in 18 years on the 19 March. 7 people who liked this, also missed it.

24 March: ‎:( i've misplaced my form, now i must reprint and rewrite everything! + i've lost my glasses. did i mention i printer isn't working?

The form was the SIG form (turned out to be with my friend). The glasses turned out to be UNDER my bag and my printer is fine now.

24 March: OH FREAK. i nearly burnt my house down :(

While I was frantically finding the form, I forgot to turn the fire that was boiling my lotus root soup off. I smelt something odd, and I nearly screamed my head off when I saw there was smoke. The pot had black residue and was a goner. When i poured water on the monster, all the came out was steam. Yes, it's that hot. Oh well, that night, the place smelled like a BBQ pit, and I guess I learned that I must be more careful.

24 March: i'm traumatised

I still couldn't believe what happened

25 March: While thinking whether withdrawing from TOOP was the right decision, I spaced out in the bus and overshot by 23 bus stops, and landed in Yishun. Seriously, what is wrong with me this week? :(

My life went downhill. I had to withdraw from TOOP because of religious reasons (it's on Sats) Somehow, i stoned in the bus and then i was trapped in Yishun. The vehicles there were really scary, cos they were moving really fast. Seeing the foreign bus numbers also made me feel insecure.

27 March: damn the PI :I

And so, the PI tragedy begins

27 March: my cooking is so bad, it caused the haze :D

The haze problems returned to Singapore. By then, i used my horrible experience as a joke. How sadistic of me.

29 March: not quite strawberries but an avalanche of dates (:

I got into SRP. (yet another commitment). I was talking about Owl City's "Strawberry Avalanche" and changing it to "Dates" (a play on its meaning of fruit and actual calendar numbers)

30 March: i'm not a camwhore, i'm just photoholic (:

I noticed some people find it annoying that I snap photos. I'm trying to find vindication

31 March:

‎(in mandarin)
Me: Good morning, Uncle
Cleaning uncle: Good morning
Me: Eat already?
CU: Yes, you?
Me: Not yet :(
CU: Aiyo, next time must eat ok? breakfast is the most important meal of the day! :) *thumbs up*

that's why i love life :D

One of my favourite posts! It's about the cleaning uncle at the audi toilet (who still talks to me btw!)

04 April: (: yay done with poster

This was about the HC election poster I was making. At the same day, my design for SYFC's easter concert invitation card got rejected. To be honest all I did was to copy and paste an old artwork (it was already on fb!). I realised then, that I spend more time on secular than religious activities.

07 April: the red-eyed quek

Contact lens are giving me a problem, i shall switch to glasses.

07 April: We are going to GET A LIFE on…. (..--- .---- / .- .--. .-. .. .-..) !!!! YAY!

This is about the easter concert, where everyone had to post this status. And yes, that's a morse code of the date. My friend's idea. I'd never think of that.

09 April: Hey everyone! I'm running for Temasek Junior College's 19th Gamma House Committee. Join this group if you would like to support me and receive updates (even if you're not from TJC or from Gamma, you can still support me!) Thank you ٩( -̮̮̃ -̃)۶

Frankly, I was actually pressurised to do this because everyone was doing it. I know, i'm may not have good ideas, but making group seemed to be the most effective way to campaign.

10 April: In Singapore, "life is full of puddles"

Supposed to be a play on the word "hurdles/puddles" but I had to explain it to my dear friend that Singapore is wet.

13 April: every night, it's always the feeling of "Thank you God for letting me survive today!"

With 9 likes, this is the pinnacle post of the year (i think). I mean, i realised that alot of people, although different, have the same problems, and all it takes is for someone to post it on facebook for us to discover that problem.

14 April:

Me: Hello, do you sell safety pins?

Sales Girl: 什么是 safety pins?

Me: 是小小，尖尖的东西。可以打开的。

SG: 是不是这个？　*shows push pins*

Me: 不是。它可以放衣服的。

SG: 是不是这个呢？*shows paper clip*

Me: 不要紧，谢谢．

Me: Hello, do you sell cardboard?

Sales boy: Card… board… Cardboard是什么？

Me: 是那个很硬的纸

SB: 是这个吗？*shows colour paper*

Me: 不是。这个是的 colour paper。我要 no colour

SB: 你有没有sample?

Me: *shows foolscap paper backing*

SB: 哦，这个啊。是不是这个呢？*shows photo paper*

Me: 啊．．．　没关系，谢谢．

It’s not because foreign talents don’t speak English well, it’s because I didn’t study Chinese well enough. lol

A hilarious episode at Eastpoint where I try to defend the foreign talent's position.

18 April: i learnt that masking tape is the world's most unreliable tool

Yes... my campaign badges need more than masking tape

19 April: There were many things that made today my bad day, but HUGS made everything better.

19 April is the worst day in the whole semester. One of the reasons was that i slept at 1.30am, and forgot that i had Chinese class. Oh and 3km run for PE followed by diarrhea. (and people leaving my badges behind) In fact, all Tuesday seem to suck for me. Thankfully, that day was also Hugathon.

20 April: i can live on pocky ♥

Pocky obsession 2

23 April: watching "Damn the PI part 2"

2nd draft of PI

25 April: ♥ Grey's Anatomy

Yes I started watching, not a good move if you have a crazy schedule

26 April: I'm in a "nobody-cares-about-you-but-you-can't-blame-them-because-they-don't-know-your-problem" mood

With 3 likes, this post was about getting the wrong timing for NSW science. I only had half an hour instead of one to do my paper. And it hurt my ego since i'm a straight distinction student for NSW :(

28 April: When election campaigns go on, traffic is heavy and your bus is slower than walking speed (3 stops in 40 mins). You get angry, alight a few stops earlier and walk. And somehow, it's at the road where no traffic exists and the bus is faster than walking speed (2 stops in 1 min) :( sigh

Again, a rant that obviously gets no likes. Rants should be avoided in facebook where possible. No one really wants to know your problems

29 April: flowers don't like me, umbrellas do ^^

A very abstract thought with reference to the HC camp opening dinner where gamma did an excellent job putting a Hawaiian night of fun. I couldn't stick the flower to my head, but yes to umbrellas.

01 May: i'm an hougangster :D

I was in a period of pride for my heartland.

02 May: i don't follow politics

General Elections 2011. Some people said that it's a good thing i don't.

04 May: Appreciate what has been given, don't complain

Had a mini-debate with someone over this. Shalln't say

05 May: the excitment when you find out that your friend agrees with you all this while.

I discovered that a friend I didn't know very well also disliked someone i disliked. Now that friend is my classmate, and I look forward to knowing him better.

05 May: watching "Damn the PI part 5"

Again, the PI problems

05 May:

draft 1: PI.doc

draft 2: newPI.doc
draft 3: newestPI.doc
draft 4: newnewPI.doc
draft 5: newnewnewPI.doc

I'm surprised this got 11 likes. I guess being non-innovative has it perks eh?

07 May: i'd vote for anyone who can make Singapore cooler

Appropriate now that the "drip-drop" weather has become the "sizzle-the-egg" weather

07 May: my mom said the voting slips have no instructions to cross the box, so ppl may blur blur draw "teddy bears" in the boxes.

Haha, no she didn't.

08 May:

Mom: when you make your bed, make sure it's "mom standard", because when when u go NS, there is "NS standard".

Me: What is "NS standard"?
Mom: "NS standard" is "mom standard" lor
Me: How you know arh? :O
Mom: Cause mommy gave NS the standard. =)

LOL, Happy Mothers' Day!

With 5 likes, this post is something that I myself adore because it really shows how mothers are like.

13 May: lies: smell them, don't tell them :*

Smell isn't a good word, i admit

14 May: just finished my whole stock of pockys :(

Pocky obsession part 3

14 May: dying in dreams are nightmares

This is quite... personal.

17 May: We all hate eyebags U.U

Yes we do

17 May: When people don't fill up obvious spaces, passengers can't go in, so bus uncle has no choice but to say: "IF YOU DON'T MOVE IN, I DON'T DRIVE." We should seriously make life easier for uncles.

This is another form of ranting, called Justice. Surprisingly, it gets popular (as much as 9 likes).

17 May: not offence, but the indian boy refilling his bottle in front of me at the water cooler (which was slow), let his brother cut the queue and refill his already full bottle, followed by the sister, then mom, dad, uncle, auntie and the whole extended family. UGH, if your whole family is thirsty just go and buy drinks at 7-11 please, don't be inconsiderate for the sake of saving money! :(

This is another form of ranting, called Complain. Be careful, because it is very deceiving and disguises itself as "Justice". Avoid complaining, because everyone hates a complainer. (P.S. i later realised that the family may in fact be poor)

19 May: Almost cried today because I wrote my most heart-felt Chinese "reflection" on me regretting that I did not study Chinese well enough last time, but also because I had a hard time finding the right vocab to express it for the same reason.

Very profound. I was frustrated and angry at everything. It wasn't actually about regretting, but about disliking the fact that I'm always last in class

20 May: how come i only knew about Starbucks' half-price today? =(

I keep hearing people talking about Starbucks. Didn't bother to ask until the last day. Ignorance has costs.

21 May: ‎6pm and i feel so alive!

Haha, nutheads who think they know the end of the world are fools because God said he'd come at the time when we least expect it.

23 May: overspent this month.

Yes, presents for seniors :x oops. and because i'm in HC, it's gonna get worse haha

24 May: just because i smile, it doesn't mean i'm ok

With 7 likes, this another one of my favourites. It's a quote that i made 2 years ago about Cambodian children smiling. Apparently, it applies to anyone.

24 May:

I'm having an art attack tonight :(
1. one tee design
2. 5 badge designs
3. one science design project
4. one CCA board design
5. 4 powerpoint-pictures-to-match-song-lyrics
Wish me luck~

I have 5 different art-related stuff to do. I guess when you are the artistic one, everyone expects you to draw.

26 May: tj makes me fit

Not just PE, track and HC as well. I was probably writing this while being mad that I couldn't do pullups.

27 May: things will eventually fall neatly into place, sometimes in ways you least expect

I was praying hard that I will be able to get everyone in my class to sign a birthday card for my friend. Thankfully our math teacher treated us icecream, so that was A LOT of time to gather everyone one-by-one to sign it. :)

28 May: omg i slept till 6pm today... made up for all training and late nights. i feel like a corpse.

Yes, JC life is tough.

30 May: my aircon is sweating

This is pun. Firstly, i'm trying to say that the weather is so hot that even aircons can sweat. Secondly, it's so hot that my aircon broke down and was leaking. Cool eh?? ok not really...

02 June: i used to call chihuahuas the "meowmeowdogs"! #random

My childish tendency again, sigh.

06 June : Cats (:

I sooo want a cat :3 as long as its not nyancat.

And so, my posts come to an end! ;)

SORRY FOR MAKING YOU READ ALL THIS!

I will review the second half of the year another time.

O levels almost done

2010-11-14T13:37:00.003+08:00

Quickie updates:

1. Been focusing on deviantart lately http://marcusqwj.deviantart.com/

2. Will be getting tablet soon! YAY!

3. Filed my sketches together finally!

4. Am sad that Kevjumba lost Amazing Race

5. Am getting fatter! MUST EXERCISE!

6. Finally got hold of Mangastudio!

7. Been watching youtube extensively

8. Check this out: http://animemarcus.blogspot.com

9. Have project to make pictures for music

10. Going to Thailand for mission trip

11. Probably joining CCIS and Project Serve

12. Not going for YRP :)

Inception

2010-08-07T17:07:00.004+08:00

*Starts typical teenager's post here*

So like yesterday, some of us 402-ians went out to watch INCEPTION.

Queue was long. Waited half hour to get 11 tickets (6 in front, 5 behind. The right aisle). Did you know LS planned the outing but never came? LOL

Had lunch at AMK hub, and most of us ate at MOS burger. HJ and I went outside coffee shop to eat. He jie shao one. So i ordered TOFU RICE (minus meat) and it was darn good and very affordable. The cleaner and stall auntie had the best "fu wu tai du" (customer service) because they keep telling us to sit inside, away from the sun. Best lunch evar!

So we dudes, since we LOATHE shopping, decided to go to the arcade. Fab and I played 1 round of racing ($1 leh, chao EX!). Yeah, so we just got bored and left.

We trying to find the girls. And Fab said that the statement "because they are girls" can clear any questions regarding intense shopping, long time in toilets or other girly stuff.

Fab's instinct helped us located Chel and the rest (couple's telepathy lol). YT was like "WAH? Finish arcade so fast?" and I said "because we are not girls"

Then, went to cinema! the girls take damn long. Fab said "it's because they are girls". When we all met, we drew lots (tickets) and sat in random seats lol.

Show was great, except for the cliffhanger that got everyone talking afterwards. Bought the number 1 durian puffs later at $1.50 each. END OF DAY

*Ends typical teenager's post here*

UPDATES UPDATES LONG POST :O

2010-07-21T22:01:00.004+08:00

I've been very forgetful these few days.

1. I forgot that N2DII was on Friday. I haven't collected ANY money, and I don't supopse I would.

2. I forgot to tell Mrs Goh that today was my sister's graduation, hence I would not be attending remedial. I wonder what she would say to me tomorrow.

3. I forgot to ask someone from the physics Olympiad to take notes on my behalf. It's kind of a pity that i'm paying $8, and not attending the course.

4. I forgot to write my NYAA silver booklet. Thankfully the deadline shifted to this Friday (2 more days!)

5. I forgot that there was XSP tea session with some Uni scholars, until I reached home and bathed. Thank goodness I stay a short distance from school, hence making it on time. I can't imagine living far far away. I'm lucky, ya know that.

Anyway LOADS of scary/exciting things have been happening during my absence.

Firstly, was the controversial "failed suicide" by ... you know who. And honestly, I think it is not a laughing matter. Believe me, it would be worse than watching a horror movie, if you see your friend die.

Secondly, I plotted my exam grades. Sec3 MYE, Sec3 EYE, and Sec 4MYE. It turned out that Sec3 EYE was like the peak, meaning that my grades droppped this year. And really, I have no reason not to mug now... yet why am I still mugging?

Thirdly, I've stepped down from SJAB. Yea it's a bittersweet thing if you aren't truly attached to your CCA. I've been seeing the Sec 3s placing effort in taking over... or maybe I will always be the lenient senior.

Fourthly, ever since we've rearranged our seating positions, I realised i'm more detached from YT, and more closer to LS (a reverse of what happened after Cambodia trip.) You won't understand what I am staying, admit it. Anyway, sitting in front has given me the convenience of throwing my sweet wrappers in the bin without even standing.

Fiftly, my dental progress is extra slow, now my dentist has changed the orientation of my elastics, until I have 2 triangles when I smile.

Sixthly, church life has been very stale, because I did not attend church until 2 sabbaths ago. Even POD has been carelessly forgotten by me. My christian life has been stagnating, and there are hints that I am reviving, when more people ask me to help out.

Seventhly, my art has shot up. I've learnt quite a few useful techniques in digital painting. Notable replacing hand-drawing with the beizer tool, and of course, knowing when to layer. While my drawings are getting better, my plot isn't :( Anyone wanna be my novelist? Current anime addicitons: Bleach, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, Hetalia: World Series.

Eightly, studies have been focusing on SOLELY Physics and Chemistry. I have absolutely no idea why I'm neglecting all other subjects, but I better turn fast before I become overly engrossed!

Finally, my sissy graduated today. Congrats!

Can't feel it

2010-07-21T21:01:00.005+08:00

what's with me, that I have changed my expectations so much?

My perception of graduating and going into a good JC doesn't seem very important anymore, and that the Os doesn't make me anxious.

Why are the motivations I am receiving doing the opposite of what it should? I'm not sure how to describe this by why does not nosing into a book make me feel hints of pride? Perhaps, my purpose in society seems more distant, and I realise I should be caring more about myself and my interest. Could this new attitude be a boon or a bane?

And then, I supposed i'm deluding myself, so much, I can't feel bounded by stress anymore. It's what I, Dr Quek, call the NUMB and DUMB syndrome, where you've reached a point where you cannot release adrenaline. I'm trying to prepare for what worse could happen after national day. Whatever negative energy from the black and white, I'm trying to swallow it now.

Or course, I am looking for the antedote.

Palindrome Poem 2

2010-06-23T15:07:00.004+08:00

Time can wait

Time can wait,
if only
nothing
we did
had harmed the earth. However,
humanity - we
shall thin away
the atmosphere: It
will be polluted with
hate. Humans
shall exist in
destruction. Animals:
they plead for
mercy.
There is no
protest against us!
And trees will burn into
our greedy constructions. Rubbish
will flood
the rivers: they
shall be poisoned by
our pride, and men
will destroy
earth.
=======MIRROR=======
Earth
will destroy
our pride, and men
shall be poisoned by
the rivers: they
will flood
our greedy constructions. Rubbish
and trees will burn into
protest against us.
There is no
mercy!
They plead for
destruction. Animals
shall exist in
hate. Humans
will be polluted with
the atmosphere. It
shall thin away
humanity. We
had harmed the earth. However,
we did
nothing.
If only
time can wait.

Palindrome poem

2010-06-21T21:12:00.009+08:00

We meet again

We meet again.
I wish
we never met.
I regret saying
"forgive me", because
our friendship:
it is a lie that love created.
I don't think
we will work it out.
My friend,
because you are
so good,
I feel
the hate towards myself.
I don't take
your critical advice
seriously. Continue with
the battle but I cannot follow
our relationship. It has won
nothing
you wanted.
============ MIRROR ===============
You wanted
nothing.
Our relationship: It has won
the battle but I cannot follow
seriously. Continue with
your critical advice.
I don't take
the hate towards myself.
I feel
So good.
Because you are
my friend,
we will work it out.
I don't think
it is a lie that love created
our friendship.
Forgive me, because
I regret saying
"We never met".
I wish
We meet again.

- Self-composed, dedicated to you!

Joke - MRT Anagrams

2010-06-12T12:40:00.002+08:00

WAHA. Some random person made this and I HAD to post it up.

An anagram of a word, is simply rearranging the letters.

Can you tell which stations are actual anagrams, and which are completely faked?

2010-06-10T14:12:00.002+08:00

a students wealth is determined by his pens

NEW BLOGSKIN

2010-06-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

Yeah!! I digital painted this new blogskin.

BTW, check out the music on the left. Awesome singers.

Drama Reflections 3

2010-06-04T18:26:00.009+08:00

Just in Singapore

(Channel 8)

This is a show about neighbours of 3-room flats. It begins with mini plots of each family's life and centralise to one big plot.

Kopi Shu and Kopi Sao have a water vat that they didn't know was worth 5 million dollars. Their daughter, Shu Min, ordered the vat to be placed in Granny Ma's house for her son's safety during his stay. Granny Ma's son, Zhi Gang, discovered the value of the vat, and planned to sell it to repay loan shark, only to be chased by them, leaving the vat at the void deck.

Wei Jie finds the vat and uses it to store water when the supplies were cut. However, to accommodate a new washing machine, his parents shifted it to the lift.

Zhi Dong Sao brings the vat to use for making agar. But when the she was suspected of mass food poisoning, she removed the vat. The vat was found by Lin Bang, who uses it as a spa. And it was sold by his wife, Nancy, to a Karang Guni. By this time, all the cast know the value of the vat.

Shu Min's brother, Jian Hui, buys the vat. But he was betrayed by his American wife who went to sell it. But she was curse with an accident, causing the vat to be in the hands of the loan sharks. The loan sharks struck a deal with Zhi Gang to store the vat containing illegal drugs at his house.

Uncle Fang knows the value of the vat and steals it and hid it in Kumar's house. It was later stolen by Wei Jie's parents, and then by Zhi Gang.

Ending Analysis (SPOILER ALERT!!!!)

The ending had everyone chasing Zhi Gang for the vat. He died when a crane dropped a car on him. Justice was served due to his sins of stealing the vat, involving with loan sharks, abusing his grandma, drugging Saman's wife and injuring Wei Jie's leg.

From what was believed to be a sweet story about neighbours, turned into a bitter battle of claiming the vat, showing that Singaporeans have that self-centered instinct in them. The most interesting things is, most of them didn't realise the value of the vat when it was in their house, demonstrating the "pearls before swine" concept.

FYI: the vat was returned to Kopi Su, Kopi Sao, Shu Min and Jian Hui. The words engraved below the vat stated that it should be passed on and never be sold.

Drama Reflections 2

2010-06-04T18:09:00.006+08:00

Polo Boys

(Mediacorp Channel 5)

Polo boys is a typical sports plot with 7 or 8 guys forming a water polo team in Temasek Uni. Their lives are explored, and they go through hardship, perseverance, and all that sports jargon.

It focuses on the captain, Boon Keong, and his encounter with his dad, Greg, who finally makes his appearance after 20 years of disappearance as a team player. Will their relationship improve, or will it worsen?

Ending Analysis (SPOILER ALERT!!!!)

The final interhall match was going to be a disaster until the captain, Boon Keong, convinced all the team members to come back again. But, with all the demoralised atmosphere in the team, isn't it a little too ideal for everyone to return?

Many questions were left unanswered. For instance, Are Boon Keong and Max still friends? Was Jin, the guy who supposingly betrayed the team, really accepted back? So who is Angel and Jess going out with now? Was Diane promoted?

However, I should applaud the show for promoting water polo, a sport that Singapore has constantly excelled in the Olympics. It also gives a well rounded picture of sportsmanship.

Drama Reflections 1

2010-06-04T17:41:00.006+08:00

The Pupil

(Mediacorp Channel 5)

This shows revolves around the life of lawyers who work as "Roberts and Fong". It seemed like a deep show, nicely coupled with typical court cases in addition to the provocative lives of the lawyers.

It mainly focuses on the pupil, Wendy, who joined the company in hope to locate her missing father who was last seen involved in R&F. She is joined by her aunt, Gaik Kim, who was desperate to find her brother. The antagonist is Mr Harris Fong from R&F.

Ending Analysis (SPOILER ALERT!!!)

At first, I was very unhappy with the ending: Most of the clients had bad endings, Risa never got her condo, Angela is threatened by Rachael's arrival, Cheryl was fired, and Wendy died after finding her father.

But I finally understood it had to be bittersweet. Wendy did fulfill her goal of finding her father, though it was too late for her, so there are elements of happy and sad.

I feel that another court case will follow in response to Wendy's death, with Auntie Gaik Kim and Harris on the two end. Perhaps, Angela and Rachael will work on that case. Perhaps, Risa will be a witness. How will the plaintiffs and defendants argue? By re watching the last episode, bits of evidences will surface. For instance, Auntie Gaik Kim may be accused for leaving for a holiday when she knew Wendy will meet her father, Harris might claim that he tried to warn Wendy, or his clients acted on their own... etc.

I don't know the implied meaning, but it's definitely a cliffhanger.

Marcus is addicted to Digital Painting

2010-06-04T01:04:00.003+08:00

Sorry for the retarded previous post.

Anyway... I've been addicted!

YES, to digital painting. Awesome shit!

Um. sorry again.

Shall post my reflections here soon.

My Bao Zhang Bao Dao Parody

2010-05-31T13:46:00.004+08:00

报章报道：在普通水准考试，一位青少年因为写不完他的作文，感到十分遗憾，而且产生自杀的概念。读完这则新闻后，我感到悲哀，因为他是我。

为什么我不能写完作文？

~~其一，我没有好好准备。~~
其一，考题太过分了，所以不知道该如何回答。
其二，我漏掉了一段“为什么一”，所以从头到尾抄写。
其三，礼堂的冷气温度太低了，使考生感到寒冷。

如何解决这个问题？

~~第一，以后，要温习功课。~~
第一，重考。
第二，玩电脑纾解压力，患上精生病。
第三，写这个无聊的报章报道。

总而言之，我笨，请见谅。

I hate you

2010-05-18T04:32:00.011+08:00

I hate you for...

Treating me nice when I'm cold to you
Not hitting back when I hit you
Saying sorry when I wronged you
Laughing when I ridiculed you
Abandoning me when I told you to
Being there when I least want you to

You're a good person.
But why do I hate you?

==================

Nah, not you :b

Webcomics

2010-05-13T05:59:00.012+08:00

Ive been drawing

and studying the apocalyse genre.
And what better way than to check out webcomics?

MegaTokyo by Fred Gallager (Piro)

It's about 2 American gamers who are stuck in Japan.

Corny yet solemn and serious. It's an awesome series bound to make you ROFL.

And it has a corny parody of Great Teacher Onizukaaaa!!! :D

BTW, this panel made me laugh for 3 minutes.

Largo is the my favourite character. He's unable to distinguish virtual and reality, and thinks there are zombies in Japan. And what does he do? Gear up for war!

Sin by Quirky

Hilarious shit but gruesome as well. This one's after World War III (AKA Cold War II)

The Flashbacks are epic, saddening and horrifying too.

I hope the author would continue as it is on hiatus now.

2010-05-05T14:33:00.004+08:00

I love chatty people

cos they always say things

that don't quite make sense

but are satisfying to hear

=============

woah poke my eye and call me stalker, mate.

I know

2010-05-01T12:04:00.006+08:00

I know that you know

I feel how you feel

I wish that you wish

I live how you live

I ask that you ask

I learn what you learn

I promise that you promise

You smile when I smile

=============

I know what's going on.

I know what you are.

I'm facing the same problem.

But who will say it first?

Shut up, Mutism!

2010-04-30T17:32:00.007+08:00

Most of the time, I can't speak.

If only I didn't worry too much about what to say, when to say it, and how to say it, I could have been more daring to say it.

Speaking of talking, Poor communication and fear of faux pas always pulls me away from important factors through my school life. Honestly, when I don't say what I feel, people just exclude me and I become extremely paranoid, but I dare not say about it.

You know, I think everyone is retarded.

But everyone has a different degree of retardism. It's not an insult, but merely a disability in a certain area. I could have mild stages of selective mutism or laliophobia. Why? i think its due to anxiety of high expectations and the lack of social support system.

I would elaborate, but let's not talk about it.

2010-04-28T06:13:00.002+08:00

I've been acting real strange these few days. Maybe its those exam sickness.

2010-04-19T18:16:00.003+08:00

I must be really lucky to know you.

Because you always understand me.

And you won't hate me for who I am.

Happy 300th post ;)

===============

P.S. Define "coincidental"

Bye Mother St John

2010-04-18T10:34:00.005+08:00

You know what?

I actually considered my loved-hated CCA more of a blessing than a waste of time.

Throughout my life, I have never felt the bond with squadmates. So what if the seniors don't notice me? So what if I'm not given the big roles? It all doesn't matter anymore.

I've done my part: taught my juniors first aid, stayed in the opts room during camp and work as an odd job person carrying dummies around. I've done many things in secret, and I'm am glad I did.

So leaving mother SJAB is neither a pain nor a joy. I've learnt that not being acknowledge is not a bad thing, especially in the year I did not promote. There were times I wanted to scream, rip my ranks, and stomp my beret on the parade square. Those days are over.

Meritocracy is just full of greed. But there is no better system, is there? It will be weird to say that SJAB has made me more communist. But it's something like that. It's odd, real odd.

Lalaland

2010-04-15T18:03:00.005+08:00

P.S. Just a random poem because my mind was seriously spacing out.

======================

Breathe in, take a step

and fall in a rabbit hole

so that reality is as impossible

as connecting pole to pole

Can walls becomes doors?

Are real illusions real?

Can poison be medicine?

Can looks really kill?

Eccentric hatters would think so

if holidays were daily

Oddly, when you look ahead

you'd see anything but tea

Dreams are as real as surreal

when flamingos can be a golf peck

and the queen of that romantic shape

is actually the joker of the deck

If anthropomorphism were true

Will cats grin and caterpillars blow air?

But knowing white rabbits can't tick tock

why do you even care?

What am I saying?

I don't give a damn

Just stop spacing out

and come out of lalaland!

Homecoming

2010-04-10T20:30:00.003+08:00

I really don't know how to describe this feeling.

All my life, I had never gone for a single homecoming. It's not such a big deal and such, but I decided that this final year should be different.

Hence this year, I came at the end of homecoming, where everyone was dismissing. As a visitor, there's nothing to see but empty stalls. Still, it was the closest moment ever for me to experience "homecoming". It's the last for me.

Feeling "extra" by being there even though I never helped? Surely. But it's just redundant pressure that I eventually overcame. I'm actually not supposed to be in school before 7pm due to religious bureaucracy. Still, I really really wanted this year to be different.

Indeed it was, because there was dinner with XSP. Discussions were mostly about stuff in homecoming. I heard it was a disappointment because the school was too ideal again. This time, stalls were twice the quantity but half the quality. The ~~income~~ sales gap per class should be wider too.

I really shouldn't complain the school, should I? It's not like I can do any better.

The planet, the star, the moon

2010-04-08T20:52:00.005+08:00

If I am the planet, you are the star.

You shine brightly but you're so far.

But I never seem to get nearer or close behind,

For I'm a body revolving around your mind.

I love you, need you to sustain my life,

But if I get too close, then I will die.

If the moon stands between us,

casts an eclipse and pulls my tide,

Will you promise not to hide?

For I need you by my side.

I'm here but not here

2010-04-04T16:36:00.008+08:00

Gosh. I've been writing rather shallow posts lately. It's not that I dislike straight-forward posts, but I never seem to get my message across. So how shall I describe life so far?

I'm a lil disappointed by the results of the competition. Well, I can't tell if it's my business or not. I'm not the in-charge of training my juniors or something (I never was told whenever there were trainings), but I'm still part of my CCA? Well, I guess I will shake it off my shoulders like I'm invisible. I'm used to it. No biggie.

Well, I think my confusion over my involvement in many events is a recurring pattern this year. I can't tell what my class is even going to do for homecoming, nor know when the class tees are coming. I mean I AM part of the class right? Though I'm not going for the big day...

Sports Day, Cans and Shine are other examples. Taboo, taboo. Hush, hush. Not many people will understand me.

I have no idea what is the level of commitment I ought to place for events that I won't even be there. That's the problem. The big problem.

Happy Easter.

=============================

Blessing: God must have stopped the rain on Good Friday for Pod Picnic. I realised Friday was the only day this week that did not rain.

I love Sports

2010-04-02T18:39:00.010+08:00

1st April - April's Fool Day

I'm proud to be part of the 2010 Sec 4 cohort who successfully outwitted our teachers in a game of April Fools. I myself am unable to believe we pulled it off perfectly.

The rules were simple. Every class just swapped their venues, making teachers shocked at the new faces and run up and down frantically looking for their right class. The best one was the last period, were 404 and 403 changed their "signs" and Ms Lee acted cool by saying "I expected more than that..." Mrs Seetoh didn't notice 402 entering 401's class when she was right outside which was super LOL. I heard 404 rotated their chairs so that their notice board was their whiteboard. Hilarious lil school pranks! Ms Sia said it was the 4th time she was fooled. LOL.

Ok, there was PTM at night, so I volunteered to help. It's really a refreshing experience and another milestone for me, because I actually had the chance to guess whose parents are whose. And surprisingly, like parent - like child. Their characters are pretty much the same. Haozhe and I gave waterbottles and led them to the online survey thingy. Yeah.

I managed to help out AC before the competition in Saturday. Well, I feel extremely guilty for not helping the comp teams. Still, I'm very happy at the improvement that AC had in the 2nd last case. All the seniors were wowed (although the very last case was a bummer. Work harder!)

2nd April - Good Friday (POD Picnic at Pasir Ris Park)

Went to Hougang MRT to meet Chelsea so that we can go for POD

I will invent this saying: "Indecisiveness thrives when guys and girls are placed together."

I mean like, we wanted to go to Pasir Ris MRT, so we took Hougang MRT. Then we decided it was too long, so we stopped at Serangoon MRT to take cab. Then we weren't sure if we should take Bus 53... In the end we took cab (very long time never take cab, i wasted a freakin $9.60 ok??? lol) Then reach already, cannot find bus interchange. And then we found Yorkhao and his frens.

An old lady was lost, so Chels and Yorkhao went to help her. Took about 8 minutes. Then all of us boarded Bus 403 (except Yorkhao who was waiting for others). And we thought that it was moving AWAY from Pasir Ris Park, so we alighted. Then, we found out it was a loop. =.=" uhh?

Waited very long for the next Bus 403 and found Yorkhao and the rest inside! LOL. When we reached Pasir Ris Park, damn sad... cos it was drizzling and there was debate among the programme leaders about whether to carry on or wet-weather plan to watch "Evan Almighty" indoors. I'm soooooo against indoors, plus my instincts tell me the rain will stop.

My instincts were right. So we had fun picnicking! We guys played vollyball, captain ball and frisbee. And Marcus is very proud to say that he has reached another significant achievement.

I LOVE SPORTS

I mean, thats against Marcusism nature. I'm an indoor kid. I practically detest sports. But, I think it's because of Yorkhao and his clique's amazing teamwork that changedme. I LOVED sliding through the grass and playing kinda violently. My instincts must have escalated. It's a guy's thing, girls may not understand this.

Well, now that I like sports (i mean it), will it dilute my artness? Last year, I was on the verge of changing my hobby to music when I explored the music industry. Perhaps, now is a three-way battle of ART-MUSIC-SPORTS.

Marcus signing off

==================

Today's Observations: Different MRT lines are very different. NE line has translation, NS line doesn't. Different neighbourhoods and have different way of life. You'd find Pasir Ris MRT as gridlocked with bicycles, due to the park's influence. Sengkang and Punggol are 99% residential. Where exactly are the workplaces?

I'm eating cup noodles while writing this

2010-03-30T15:48:00.007+08:00

I'm pleased with myself. Very. :D

Though things turning the way I don't want it to be, it ends up way better than I expected.

===================

Sometimes, i wish you would cry so that i can hold you tightly in my arms. I feel torn because I secretly admire you and your strength although it is forbidden. And I am hoping that you will fall so that I can catch you. When you didn't, I pushed you. That's how mean I am.

Realistic updates

2010-03-25T19:03:00.004+08:00

I don't want to give down-to-earth posts. Simply because its boring and usual. But talking abstract things always brings me out of the point, so I shall post realistically.

Okay, there was SATS (science and technology symposium, but SATS sounds cooler, like an exam). SATS took up 7 periods of lessons, not that it really mattered. (or course it does! i'm just trying to act cool!)

Anyway, SATS was meaningful and I got to see the other projects and how the interest of science and be so amusing (kinda). I'm utterly discouraged when theres hardly anyone who visited my booth (duh! who likes knowledge engineering anyway?).

Had a film shooting for "65th Anniversary logo documentary with the artist who drew it". It was kinda ok. There is this unreal feeling when you see yourself in a camera. I mean, i'm usually the one taking picture/videos, so seeing me on screen is like seeing someone else. Someone who has been with me for 16 years, but I seldom see him.

Anyway, the mirrors in our class is removed. "All my life I wish i broke mirrors, instead of promises..." oops. whatever. lame.

I'm barely staying on top of homework. there's loads of new experiences and loads of fun that i find myself accelerating and turning into a "chiongster". Well, being time-effective is a skill i'm still honing, like i'm always trying to get the miminum displacement to the canteen during recess. (Sorry for being technical here, i'm just so overworked!)

Ok. ok. To end off this "scatter-brain" post, here's something funny.

yingting, jingyi, and chelsea read this book called "Tuesdays with Morrie", so I read this book as well over the holidays. On Monday, i found out khoa was reading the same book! LOL. and to make it even worse, i told yewtong to help me return that book, and the next day, he borrowed it because khoa was also reading it. LOL (oh wait, could it be, he did not return my book! :O)

Anyways, that's all for now. Promo test tomorrow. I'm not worried over the results, i'm worried whether my 3-year effort to nuture my juniors had paid off.

Hot Air Balloon - Owl City

2010-03-22T16:10:00.002+08:00

We wrote a prelude
To our own fairy tale
And bought a parachute
At a church rummage sale

And with a mean sewing machine
And miles of thread
We sewed the day above L.A.
In navy and red

We wound a race track
Through your mom's kitchen chairs
And fought the shadows back
Down your dark basement stairs

I lit a match, then let it catch
To light up the room
And then you yelled as we beheld
An old maroon hot air balloon

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

La la la la la laaa
La la la la la laaa

We drank the Great Lakes
Like cold lemonade
And both got stomach aches
Sprawled out in the shade

So bored to death you held your breath
And I tried not to yawn
You made my frown turn upside down
And now my worries are gone

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

I'll be out of my mind
And you'll be out of ideas
Pretty soon
So let's spend
The afternoon in a cold hot air balloon
Leave your jacket behind
Lean out and touch the treetops over town
I can't wait
To kiss the ground
Wherever we touch back down

Personification and Opposites

2010-03-20T11:11:00.009+08:00

I'm in love with personifying things that don't quite make sense. At times, I picture life in an irrational way.

For instance, Art and Science would be two opposite but coexisting characters. The former is more creative and idealistic, but the latter is more structure and govern by laws. Their pros and cons create a fragile balance.

Dream and Reality would be another set of polar opposites. The first is an illusion, but it source of our motivation, the part of life we want to see. The second is an eye-opener, the part of life that we hate to see, yet it is that part that is needed to limit ourselves.

It's strange how I feel so secure by materialising things. In a way, I feel rather abnormal. I love characteristical opposites that work together. Abstract ideas in tangible view. Odd. Really odd. I have no idea what I'm talking about.

================

The Internet Party: A funny video that personfies your websites. Geeks will love this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgQMTLKmwrA

Axis Powers Hetalia: An anime that personifies countries in a rather funny story. Check them out. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axis_Powers_Hetalia

Apocalypse!

2010-03-17T13:28:00.005+08:00

Yo peeps.

If you know me well, I like to study all sorts of anime/manga genres. And one genre that caught my eye is "Apocalypse". Apocalypse refers to "end of the world" stories. And post-apocalypse refers to the time after that.

So yeah. I think it's a really really good for making plots. And also, there's not really a lot of anime in this genre. So, i'm going to learn more about this kind of genre.

Plot

For apocalypse, plots often fall on "saving humanity", much like other mangas. However, the plots acutally end off with humanity being destroyed or nearly destroyed. Hence, they are great thrillers. Post-apocalypse also follows nearby. It's the aftermath of the end.

Plots have a tendency to take time travel or parallel universes into consideration. Time travel heightens the mood of the story. There are also cases of moral corruption and battle of ideals. I believe to improve the genre, a pinch of comedy should be included, without destroying the mood.

Characters

Apocalyptic characters tend to take unique forms. You can have robots, aliens or mutated beings. Of course, there are always humans as wells. But each character has a stereotypical motivation. (such as robots who desire for feelings or humans wanting to save themselves)

Characters will take on very extreme personalities. Yet, there is no real distinction between a "good" and a "bad" character unless shown. Characters have a very unique power and costume.

Style

Apocalyptic is usually dark and sketchy. Not exactly shonen OR shojo... It can be emotional, yet at times, it's purely ugly. Still, it's what makes this genre special. You definitely won't see chibis in a war-time (unless you're referring to hetalia! :D).

Hmmm. Ok enough analysis. My head hurts.

Who is 'me' - 5 deadly sins

2010-03-15T15:30:00.008+08:00

Ok, time for some honesty.

I know that I'm very narcissistic, materialistic, pampered, fame-hungry and envious. My 5 deadly sins. Things that always remind me of the dark side of Hollywood.

And sometimes I talk as though I'm the only who has problems.

But yeah, the thing that is pulling me down lately has been the fact that I'm not acknowledge as part of the group. These few weeks, I've been intentionally or unintentionally left out of occassions. Basically, it all goes down to false assumptions.

People always think I won't be going, so they never invite me for events. Still, it's a courtesy to ask. Then again, I'm not exactly part of the "IN" crowd, so there is no reason to be invited. Though I'm trying hard to make myself known.

If I were to list examples, I'd probably be criticised by debaters, beaten by baboons and exiled to Haiti in a no-return submarine. (no offence, and apologies for weirdness). But worst of all, I'd be giving in to my 5 deadly sins. So-I-shall-just-shut-up-for-now.

============================

What are your deadly sins?

Harmful achievers

2010-03-11T21:27:00.006+08:00

Warning: Hey you! Yes you! This post may be an accusing finger to some. Not suitable for children under 90 without their parent's supervision. Please enjoy the intermission music... ouhlala! So remember kids, stop global warming. Reader discretion advised.

================================

There's one kind of person that annoys me the most.

That person would be the harmful acheiver

Ok, plainly speaking, these few weeks, I've meeting more of such people as more and more tests keep coming in. I'm performing pretty badly these few days, noting particularly to chinese, maths, geo and physics. Of course, being courteous, I don't make a big deal out of it. Just study harder next time.

BUT, there will always be that someone who starts complaining.

The harmful achiever will start ranting about he/she doesn't get the full marks that he/she DESERVES. Guess what? The harmful achiever scored waaaaay higher than you. And he/she will say...

"Oh, I had a mental block, I was SUPPOSED to get full marks." or
"I studied 19 hours a day but i'm so unlucky....!" or
"The education system sucks. My answer is perfectly correct!"

Sounds familiar? Nothing can make me more annoyed than hearing these stuff. Yes, I know the harmful achiever is just trying to protect or justify his/her pride and dignity as a "top student". But PUH-LEASE, have some consideration for the not-so-well-performing students? The jealousy of these harmful achievers are so blatant that you can feel it through your bones.

Harmful achievers are those who bring down the spirit of other competitors. They can be either the super-slack-yet-score-near-perfect OR the act-harworking-in-front-of-you. Either way you can tell a harmful achiever from one that is not. I'm sure you know what I mean.

On the other hand, have we been harmful achievers ourselves? Let's questions ourselves: Have we extended our hands to help our lower-scoring peers or indirectly mock them? Sometime, I really wish that the O-level mania would contain mutual help. But the fact is: humans are self-centered. It's hard for the willing people to help, lest they themselves lose out in the competition.

Oh well, in the battlefield, everyone is in their bombshells, unable to help others because if someone explodes, who would protect them but themselves?

XXX

2010-03-10T20:35:00.008+08:00

I have to agree with my class that March holiday shall be a so called "holiday".

Here's a sneak peak of my schedule:

15/3: Prelims MT (0800) + NYP Rehersal (1300-1600)
16/3: Prelims MT Oral (0800) + NYP Rehersal (1300-1600)
17/3: XXX's Flagday (0800-1300) which ate my Chinese Remedial (0900-1200)
18/3: Phy SPA practice (1000) + Maths lesson (1300-1500)

Where's my life man? Now I can't plan an make-up first aid lesson for my Sec 3s! D:

Btw, I'm really really pissed off because XXX made me go for that flagday. Talk with me also use THAT tone. The last time, XXX insulted my Saturday-off religion. How can XXX be called an educator? I take back my word that I understand adults. XXX is bloody unreasonable. Wish I didn't have to go for flagday and go for Chinese remedial instead.

In fact, just as I begin to feel the school spirit, I suddenly doubt this school. I mean, I realised one thing: if the school aims high and wants an aesthatics XXX, and make us fork out $$$, why can't they invest it on our poorly maintained aircons? Darn, I feel like a XXX saying all these, but it hurts me.

Sometimes, honestly, I'd wish I'd graduate as fast as possible. I'm not the only one.

Kampongs

2010-03-08T17:48:00.007+08:00

Bored and wanna watch an anime, but don't know what to pick?
LINK TO MY ANIME REVIEWS

http://animemarcus.blogspot.com (still updating)

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Otaku is Japanese term referring to extreme fans of anime and manga. You know, those people who buy every one of their favourite manga, keep posters of anime in their rooms, and cosplay character with weird clothes and hairdo and take pictures of themselves.

Ok, I'm not THAT crazy, but like many other people, I draw.
(I'm also trying to learn digitial painting)

Anyways, here are some art contests i've participated/ planning to try out:

1. XMS 65th Anniversay logo design contest
2. Doodle 4 Google
3. Charity Art 2010
4. National Comics Challenge

Wish me luck for 3 and 4.

==============================

Ok, serious business. My previous inspiration was "Hospitals", my current inspiration is...

Singapore Kampongs

Why? I like the idea of children running on the streets chasing ducks and chickens, and woman busy stitching up clothes. The clouds roll by and thatched roofs peep from coconut trees with majestic mountains filling the background. Workers are busy pulling ox carts, fishing or planting rice, while merchants sell all sort of knick knacks from handy crafts to beans and seeds.

It's a pretty good setting for a historical story in Singapore, I guess. You can picture the cliche granpa and grandma telling the kids about "the old days" and then how the family's treasure exist etc. etc. You know what I mean.

WOAH. seriously, what am I talking about?

March camp 2010

2010-03-08T04:23:00.005+08:00

March camp was a refresher for me this year. In a way, it helped to find out how far I've developed over this critical year.

I can finally assure myself I'm not a screw-up/muddlehead like I used to think. This year, I'm getting more "get-the-job-done-or-else" and forward looking. Hmm, still, there is a lot of things I need to work on. Shall not say what.

In conclusion, I'm pretty happy with camp.

Haircuts and paper masks

2010-03-04T22:50:00.009+08:00

It's interesting to watch myself make the best of every bad situation this week.

I think. I'm a little silly to get overreacted by my haircut (narcissist), so I acutally begin to excuse myself by saying its a window to more a varied change of hairstyle in the future. I mean I like being creative an all.

While Samson's hair representing strength, mine should be confidence. All the while, my old confidence seems false, so I need to look for a new one, and the first step is... removing the old confidence.

Spent an hour to paint the masks for S1 for our camp. But I lost the masks todays in school (i seriously don't know where it is, or who in the right frame of mind would wanna steal "homemade batman mask"). I failed finding them.

I had to makes new ones again.

Nevertheless, this taught how to be more responsile for my own things and gave me another reason to test out new techniques in making masks.

Perhaps the masks must symbolise something as well? Conserved nature? I suppose so.

So there, a twin-inccident of changing perceptions. I hope my words carry positive energy.

Life sucks

2010-03-03T19:37:00.009+08:00

Warning: The following post contains outlandish language and we will not be liable to any damaged eardrums. Some animals were harmed in the making of this post. Mucus production prohibited. Please press 1. Reader discretion is adviced.

============================

Things seemed so perfect at one moment but not the next

This week must have been created to counter the balance of the euphoria on my birthday. Basically, life sucks, and this week explains why...

Life sucks when your close friend is down with a sickness and you and him can barely talk throughout the week even though he is right there beside you.

Life sucks when you get stinky from manual labour of collecting can and feel as though you had accomplished nothing.

Life sucks when you took 5 MRTs across Singapore to go to your dental appointment

Life sucks when you are told that you are not bossy enough to manage your CCA and you know it is so true.

Lide sucks when you made a social blunder in a event where your friends had gathered to celebrate your birthday.

Life sucks when you stare at the wall at 2am every morning, wondering what homework needs to be done, and only recalled when you are in school.

Life sucks when your birthday gift from the school is demerit points and a haircut that makes no distinctions between you and an NS man.

Life sucks when forget to eat lunch everyday because stress is making you full.

Life sucks when you haven't gotten a refund from the musicial you were forced to attend when the seats ran out.

Life sucks when facebook gives up on you.

Life sucks when your friend complains his test score of 18 was horrible, and yours is 16.

Life sucks when you always score the lowest for Chinese.

Life sucks when you drew a particular class tee design based on class' request, only to get rejected and replaced.

Life sucks when you vented your anger from all of the above to your mom.

==============================

Sometimes, I feel like a drunk alcoholic, no longer wanting to be a perfectinoist, and care little for my narcisism, as my hopes pull me down. Stagger through life.

Blond joke me

2010-02-28T22:04:00.003+08:00

Tonight, I heard, will be the 1st new moon of the Chinese calendar.
And it's my birthday! :D

So, I just hung around outside to watch the sky, but... I'm sad because

I couldn't find the new moon?

====================

NEW BLOGSKIN! YEA!

Destiny vs Choice

2010-02-26T02:46:00.004+08:00

Humans are small, insignificant beings. They live in planet earth, and though it looks large... it is merely an atom in this vast universe.

Yet, countless problems are concentrated into this tiny world of tiny humans.
Humans, who think they know everything, yet feel so small and feeble.
Humans, who create goals, yet knowing that the ultimate end is death.
Humans, who shun sin, yet still lusting for it.
And mini battles of the mind.
They seem to have lost all purpose.

It's fearful to think that God could just destory us in a wink, yet he did everything under the sun (or above it), to save us.

Destiny vs Choice

Does life follow destiny or is a choice? A question that carries a large controversy. If its desinty, isn't God being unfair to those who will be lost as if he purposely planned it this way? And if it's a choice, is God unable to control our actions?

But the thing: it's destiny in a way that God knows the end from the beginning, the alpha and omega. He knows who will make it to heaven and who won't.

BUT, God is here. He is here is give to give us direction, hoping we would make the right choice, despite the fact that he knows whether we can make it or not. He isn't going to give up on "future lost souls". He is delaying his return for God cannot bear to see any lost souls.

That's the size of God's love. Suggoi

lalala :D

2010-02-23T04:38:00.005+08:00

You'd probably won't understand what I mean, but I'm really glad that more opportunities are arriving so that I can do something for my final year here. (eg. I love the working crew in the "Yes we can", they are hilarious!)

Yet there were many occassion where I just lie on the ground and watch the clouds go by. And at times, just think about life. (although people who see me are like O.o) Still, I calms your soul, doesn't it?

Oh yea. Gotta go borrow a book. I think I need to read more. Yingting's rushing with Chinese and Khoa's rushing with English. Need to hone my languages as well.

"No replies" returns

2010-02-20T20:17:00.008+08:00

Why am I beginning to think that people dislike me if they choose not to reply me?

I just don't fully understand myself as to why I treasure opinions highly, and the absence of it creates uncertainty about myself and others. Why can't I accept the fact that everyone is too busy to speak with me, hence making me less confident to start a conversation with them? Why do the lack of words create false perceptions about what the other person thinks about me?

Why... must I evaluate friendships based on replies?

Then again, I'm not supposed to know everything. Just because. And the fight to get you to speak will make your words something more to treasure. At times, conversations with you becomes a luxury, or a rare blue moon inccident. But how much longer till you notice the pain I'm going through? Will we always have a one sided relationship?

Ironically, when you do speak, it is at the time I least expect. I'm never prepared to give a reply. So, I either force one out or try to get revenge by not answering. As much I hate to say this, silence shall be a barrier between us. So I would appreciate if you'd reply me, so that I know I'm not given the silent treatment (unless you ARE giving me that).

- To everyone, or should I say 'no one'?

A 3-skill experience

2010-02-18T20:30:00.005+08:00

I'm really proud of myself these two days because of new experiences gained.

Firstly is the visit to Parry Hall yesterday (17 Feb). I went as a surprise visit for Chinese New Year, but ended up learning 2 skills that I gave up on long ago.

One of them is playing the guitar. I simply can't hold the strings in place, but Yogie, Alvin and Arief really helpful, so I didn't mind the painful linear grooves in my fingers after learning C-G.

The second skill is basketball, which is my Primary School CCA. I'm not in the school team, and I have a 99% chance of shooting out of the hoop. But Yew Tong and Yew Meng played a few games with me until I can manage to shoot to 3 pointer (once only though).

Today, I helped wash cans for "Yes we can!". I've never seen so many many cans in my life. And Washing cans seem to remind me of Cambodia, because it makes you tired from hard work and there is not-so-pleasant-smell. Must thank Ying Ting for inviting me to come and Jerome and Wei Li for being great washing-partners!!!

Plucking out can caps are more of my thing. I'm feel so high just plucking them out lol. My fingers are rough with the skin peeling off just like in Cambodia. Everyone worked really hard and I've learnt so much from everyone. They persevered so much. (:

===============================

Had counselling today and here is a short passage that inspired me (Kudos the author!):

Self-Confidence
What it is and what it is not

Self-confidence is belief in yourself. It is not cockiness, role playing, or the trying on of different personalities to see which one fit.

Self-confidence is knowing who you are and cherishing the treasure. It is not about making a big splash, but rather making a big difference through the use of your gift.

Self-confidence is self-knowledge and belief in your abilities. It is not about stress driven accomplishments, but rather a slow and ongoing development of your best qualities over time.

Self-confidence is about class, not ego.

Self-confidence is your personal aura of certainty that presents itself in overall composure. It is not frenzied attempt to keep up; rather it is the internal knowing hat you have already arrived.

Self-confidence is the utilization of ommon sense. It is not an accumulation of knowledge, but rather the use of internal wisdom that allows you to be the "you" that you were born to be.

Reflective

2010-02-17T03:00:00.004+08:00

I have to be honest with myself.

Is it really ok to learn how to socialise during such a critical year? I mean, my social circle been sailing rather smoothly, but my studies (particularly History and SS) have been falling back. I seriously couldn't finish both my papers.

Can't manage to balance my life. Recently, I've been attracted to the "Artist" aspect of my life, and I can't seem to stop doodling with my pencil. When I see everyone claiming to study 24 hours, it just hurts me more.

Like seriously. I ought to start revising. Since young, I've never had consistent revision, yet, as long as I payed attention in class, I can somehow pull it through class tests. But now, things seem to rely on such revision. Though my revision is falling, I'm glad that I'm able to stay awake for classes. That helps a lot. (really!)

I blame it partly on my current reflective mood. In English and humanities, my argument seem to be running in fancy, beat-around-the-bush forms. Gotta start changing my writing style.

Yet, my reflective mood had somehow given me more than 24 hours a day, if you know what i mean. I seriously find myself having so much (maybe too much) time in my hand. Perhaps, constructive work should come out of it. (:

2010-02-16T12:42:00.003+08:00

I feel deprived of being high and crazy.
Where am I going to get my energy from?

LOL

2010-02-14T17:07:00.009+08:00

I've been looking through the Cambodia photos and got some emotional aftershocks. For example...

STARES. I remember drawing this!!! It's a Vampire Lydia. LOL, I'm such a bad influence to the kids. I think Lydia and I were messing around too much haha.

===============================

*Sobs*

Anyway, me has homework.

早早向你拜个年
新春到来又一年
食物丰富吃得甜
身体健康是本钱
幸福家庭好团圆
爱情顺利桃花圆
欢欢乐乐迎新年
祝你虎年旺旺年

Who is 'me' 01 - Open jar

2010-02-12T18:05:00.002+08:00

I've noticed

as I trod through the road of self-discovery.
that my heart is an open jar.

I like everyone. I don't seem to hate any particular group of people. Even if you are a gay, an orphan, an alien, a foreign talent, an autistic, a gangster or a particular teacher. (no offence)

I mean, why hate you?

Based on general perceptions, there are always people whom everyone "hates". I found out that many people my friends hate are people that I feel for. (once again, no offence) I seem to be able to connect with such people, because of own experience.

I'm pretty much the type of friend who is good at "just being there for you". I'm not funny, nor street-smart, nor able to give good advice. But I am able to give shelter in my open jar to those who encounter hardships. That's my strong point.

But once they heal, they leave my open jar. Which, of course, makes me empty. Still, that makes unique for who I am, and I'm proud of it.

Ever thought of anything unique about yourself? :D

Tidal Wave - Owl City

2010-02-10T05:06:00.003+08:00

I wish I could cross my arms and cross your mind
Cause I believe you'd unfold your paper heart and wear it on your sleeve
All my life I wish I broke mirrors instead of promises
Cause all I see is a shattered conscience staring right back at me
I wish I had covered all my tracks completely
Cause I'm so afraid, is that the light at the far end of the tunnel or just the train
Lift your arms, only heaven knows where the danger grows
And it's safe to say there's a bright light up ahead and help is on the way

I forget the last time I felt brave, I just recall insecurity
Cause it came down like a tidal wave and sorrow swept over me

Depression please cut to the chase and cut a long story short
Oh please be done, how much longer can this drama afford to run
Fate looks sharp, severs all my ties and breaks whatever doesn't bend
But sadly then, all my heavy hopes just pull me back down again

I forget the last time I felt brave, I just recall insecurity
Cause it came down like a tidal wave and sorrow swept over me
Then I was given grace and love
I was blind but now I can see
Cause I've found a new hope from above
And courage swept over me

It hurts just to wake up whenever you're wearing thin
Alone on the outside
So tired of looking in
The end is uncertain
And I've never been so afraid
But I don't need a telescope to see that there's hope
And that makes me feel brave

2010-02-07T15:00:00.004+08:00

you made me high
you made me smile
you made me happy

2 girls by the riverside

2010-02-04T17:52:00.010+08:00

A story by the counsellor that ingrained in my heart

In a picture, you see two young girls in swimsuits. They are sitting at the bank of a river. One girl dives in, swims across the river, comes out, and walks away at the other side. The other girl stands up, and leave.

What are your impressions of these girls?

For most people, you (like I) might think that the girl who swam had confidence, while the other one gave up easily. But actually, that isn't really the story, because there is missing information. Perhaps, the girl who left was a professional, and thought that the river was too easy. Or perhaps she just finished swimming.

What we just did is to give the "general perception". We think we know the story, but there's actually no clear evidence. Life is like that. Just because a person laughs, does not mean he never cries. You may think that so and so has such a perfect life; or this clique has the best people ever. But you may never know what really goes on below.

Or maybe someone think you are stupid, slow or dumb. If you pretend to be stupid, slow or dumb, people can't tell if it's really the case. I mean, who knows? (even if you are a bad actor) In other words, it's just people using the "general perception". There is nothing to fear about, because they have missing information.

Yes. We do not have a complete picture in order to give a judgment. Who knows, we may never be granted the complete picture. So, don't come to conclusion too quickly. (:

Initiative starts with I (ok, seriously...=.=)

2010-02-03T15:29:00.008+08:00

Volunteerism

I seriously need to rethink my actions.

I feel seriously lost at the food fest today.

Well, it's actually because I wanted to help out, but then everyone was so busy that I didn't get a chance to voice it out. I got really frustrated, and left.

But firstly, why do I even want to help?

That's a good question that really sets me thinking...

God gave me the answer as I was walking home. An Indian woman was lost, so she was asking me how to get to hougang interchange. It just slipped. I told her to take bus 165. And as I was crossing the road, I tried to comprehend that simple action.

For once since a long while, I feel a fuzzy sensation in my body. It's like, I actually acted without thinking. My volunteerism was purely associated with helping her.

Yesterday, I was walking along Ion shopping centre, completely lost and cut off from the world. I was so confused and scared of the people who hurridly passed by. I didn't dare to ask for directions, thinking that they would give me that "kua simi kua" glare, and hurry off.

But actually, it's all because I didn't bother to ask. Perhaps, to save my face.

And today, at the food fest, I gave up choosing to help out, simply because no one asked me to and I wasn't really invited to help. There I go again, with my fear of rejection and being "extra" (I really should learn from Jaguar experience!)

If I wanted to get help or give help, I have to be the one who initiate, not the other way around.

I'm a little exaggerating , but no white lies.

==========================

Oh crap. I remember now, I'm noob at directions. I hope I didn't tell that woman the wrong way :O

Lost

2010-02-02T18:35:00.008+08:00

T.T Got lost in Orchard. I'm such a navigating noob.

I feel helpless, getting stuck in the bus during peak hours.

SIGH. wasted 2 hours to come and go just to tighten my braces for 1 minute.

EDIT 3 Feb: RAWR. ONE OF THE BRACES CHIP JUST CAME OFF. NEED TO GO BACK ASAP.

=========================

How could you forget to include me? ):

2010-01-31T21:09:00.004+08:00

A new chapter begins in my life. Can't tell you yet ;)
If I were to live for 30 years
All the more, this chapter is important

Frappe

2010-01-28T03:41:00.002+08:00

Do you recall the cafe we went one winter day?
Rather than cappuchino or mocha, we bought the frappe
We loved it's chilly sensation on the terminal's link
And our friendship began like this Latin summer drink

Our ice was breaking like a billion lost dream
We held on because of its soothingly rich cream
Crazy chills on winter days, we thought it'll end and sink
But couldn't be better without this Latin summer drink

Blended with uncertainty and brewed with deep thought
We savoured guilt and harsh feelings that life has bought
Though our tongues were numb, it's not hard to think
that this all started with this Latin summer drink

Hero worship

2010-01-26T05:32:00.007+08:00

Childhood heroes form the pinnacle of a childhood memory. Speed Racer was my childhood hero. I still recall all that POW POW action. An even the theme song still rings in my head.

====================

10 years down the road, I found out he is a cartoon character. Disappointing.

Still, there is striking parallelism of heroism.

Though I'm a teen now, I still have heroes. I hero worship. Is it something to be proud of? I've noticed, these past weeks, that there are lots of people in school that I try too hard to copy or follow. Or perhaps they just impressed me. (The number keeps growing)

And because of that, my interactions with them become limited. It's like a one-sided relationship because I feel too unworthy to speak with them. Hence, distancing myself from them, yet secretly admiring. Stalker? (muhaha, who knows?)

Somehow, I feel this ought to stop. Because once a hero fails, the fans will do so too. That's quite a load of expectations. But this relationship is not meant to last, sadly...

We have to be our own heroes, not someone else.

======================

I hope I keep to my word.

A day as a self-appointed House comm member

2010-01-25T18:27:00.004+08:00

This day turned out unexpected.

I've stepped out of comfort zone, to violate my old way of thinking. It's a pretty dumb story. I wanted to join the Jaguar house comm since Sec 1 but all the captains never let me join in (all for some odd reasons).

So, this year, I decided to show initiative, by forcefully self-appointing myself as a member (at least for today). It's weird, how it go against my nature to just barge in and become "extra". But I must thank Wei Li for boosting my confidence to give it a try. Otherwise, I would still be wearing my Jaguar tee under my uniform and never come out of my "shell".

At first, it was awkward. I couldn't put myself together to get Jaguar people to settle. Either because I never lead before, or because I don't know if I have the rights to do so. I didn't feel welcome at all, knowing that I'm actually some "extra" person. Got used to it eventually.

What role am I? Some reenforcements I guess, since I'm pretty crazy over cheering. I'm really glad that Yong Guan is the captain, because he's truly sincere (and charismatic). And he said something that voices out my intentions:

"It's our last year here, let's give some contributions"

Basically, this IS the pain has been lingering in my heart. I have heartfelt regrets for not helping the school. I mean like, I feel so stupid for not using my talents. I'm not the type who can seek for opportunities to contribute.

Sigh. I hope this gives you enough hints, that I didn't write those suggestions.

That makes sense!

2010-01-23T20:15:00.009+08:00

Everyone is busy,
and I am too free.

So why is it I'm still waiting for someone to tag?

Everyone is busy,
and I am too free.

Random Musings

2010-01-22T05:13:00.008+08:00

Got lots of things to say. Where shall I start?

1. Manga inspirations
My current inspiration is on "hospitals". Because I figured out that hospitals are more than just rehabilitation centers. It's an interesting subject to draw. Here are some stuff I came up with:

Hospitals are the world's happiest and saddest place.
In 99% of all movies, there is a hospital scene.
Nurses are stereotypically sexy. The opposite is also true.
Doctors don't always wear white. Like duh.
Never eat hospital food. It's like... so healthy.

WOAH. Random.

2. Reflection
What is the opposite of "love"?

Most people say "hate", but I once heard that the opposite of love could be "self". Because we can't actually love if we think of ourselves. I realised that yesterday.

"Love one self"

It's a good yet bad saying, and yet is makes an oxymoron if love and self are opposite. I think I've been kinda selfish 50% of the time (ok, maybe 70%). Cos I usually work for personal goals and glory. I guess I should really think though about this. Hmmm.

3. Humour
From what I know, this is a true fact: I have poor sense of humours. My jokes are really really not funny. Hence, I decided to do an observation of funny people in my life, and figure out which humour type shall be suitable for me. Here are the humours:

Repititive humour - "Nice is nice but nice is not nice"
Voice-changing humour - Vary tones to act ~~gay~~ funny
Crazy humour - Acting like you're crazy/gay
Ditsy humour - Acting blur, stupid and unaware of things
Stand-up comedy humour - Effective use of anecdotes
Single word humour - (example: "FAIL" "DINGDONG")
Vitrous humour - Jelly-like substance in the eye
Oxymoron humour - "I always lie", "I don't know english"
Childish humour - Treat yourself better. (e.g. Mr Bean)
"Give names to things that make no sense" humour - (see above)

Not everything will appeal to everyone. Currently still thinking through it. (: haha

this isn't funny. ):

Parallel Universe - NON sense?

2010-01-21T05:47:00.007+08:00

Sometimes, there are mysteries that can never be solved
because the clues do not exist at all.
Sometimes, we should never know the whole truth
only parts of it which makes no sense to us.

You and I only make up a tiny tiny fraction of the world.
There are billions out there, each with a different story.
With infinite numbers, maybe, just maybe
there is someone out there who knows exactly how you feel.

And one day, we might be lucky to meet them
though there is only one in a kazillion chances.

2010-01-19T05:59:00.005+08:00

My passion for art is rekindling

=====================

Can't live without you, don't go

Please.

2010-01-17T15:46:00.004+08:00

I don't deserve the fame
if you wrote down my name

The black and white

2010-01-16T20:31:00.005+08:00

Promised Wei Li to post my ideas on ethnics from english class... so...

Do circumstances surrounding an action change whether the action is right or wrong?

Not really. Intentions do not justify actions. Stealing for hunger or killing for self defence still makes sin, a sin. These actions will evidentally harm another party for sake of one's self. If there are shades of grey, the border between right and wrong will be undefined. This complicates laws and detroy order. And life, is based on laws. (for example, law of gravity.) One is either guilty or innocent, never in between. Being ambiguous about it, will not solve anything.

Does everyone deserve to be helped? Should we help everyone, or are there only certain people we should help.?

Yes. We are all humans, and equal. Everyone deserves assistance and everyone has rights. However, there is only so much we can do. We also ought to be vigilant while helping others, lest we get manipulated or used. Even criminals need help, in terms of counselling and turning straight. However, there is one exception. People who avoid help, should not be helped. These are the people who think they are independant. These are the ones, whom if we help, will aggrevate the situation (and might lead to suicides etc.). Instead, we should leave the doors open for them.

Everyone has different opinions, but many answer whatever is considered acceptable in society. Again, it's ethnics within ethnics.

Let's dare to voice what you really think.

I believe in black and white.

=================================

I know 3 people with insomia. I wish I had insomia.

I sleep a lot.

Bipolar: Happy CCA, Sad Class

2010-01-15T19:34:00.001+08:00

Been thinking
About how I actually live life
With no knowledge of what's happening
My mind is somewhere else

Juniors, i thought, that you too
were unaware of your environment
But you proved me wrong
and now I find more need
to carry on in St John
I felt pride, for you

My time here will be short
so I wish that
you will take good care
of sick mother St John

That she may flourish and
make a name known to all

Though it's too late
I found my place here
St John is where I started
and where I shall end

And will i no longer envy other CCAs
Green shall be my hated colour

===================================

Simple issues can get misinterpreted
And soon the water boils
And how one person can just change
the course of nature

A teacher, who impossibly resembles
another whose style is different
Can stir confusion for his student
and unintentionally leave behind
an armageddon

For once, I'm utterly embarassed
to be mixed in this intellect war
of students I once respected
In a collective called classmates

United we stand, divided
we still stand, but
we're trying to push one another down
and pretend we are still strong

But soon it will stop
and my ears I need not cover
For school politics
is just another phase

A justifiable comparison

2010-01-13T16:12:00.005+08:00

Reflected a little on my dormant life in school. Now i know.

If you were never chosen for any event, it's not because you are not good enough.

It's because there are too many other people who are exceptionally good.

And there are only so little places left.

Very sad but true. ))):

===========================

My head is swelling with content. It's too fast.

Home

2010-01-12T19:32:00.005+08:00

I'm perfectly fine, to those who you thought you hurt me or whatever.

This day is unexpectedly good. At first, I thought yesterday (a superb day), was one of those really really rare days. I thought today would just be a normal one.

I was right... for the first half. Lessons went too fast for me. TERRIBLE!

But something happened in recess. I saw Shawn and I wanted to scare him, so I pushed him from behind. Then, I saw that he was holding a cup of milo, and his balance was so perfect that he didn't spill anything. Then he told me that Rui Nah, because she laughed so hard, that her milo spilt on her shirt.... so now she in toilet and shawn holding the cup ROFL!!!

Guess what? We went to the 5 pigs statue area and Rui Nah was being eccentric and all. She like offer the milo to the statue kid, and acted lovesick with principal Yap. Moreover, she called the biggest pig as "Shawn". HAHAHA. Wish i took a pic.

Another funny thing happened. Khoa was really hyper today (you won't believe it's him), while yingting and I were depressed. (An exact opposite of yesterday and everyday)

...

My brain was swelling really badly by the time chemistry ended on desulfurisation.

My cranky day changed when I went for XSP meeting. There was the dry-run presentation for the teachers and stuff. Though my overloaded mind no longer accepts anymore info, it's ok.

Anyways, many of us decided to stay back to help out. Was hungry, so I ate my stockpiled strawberry pocky in my bag. Bye bye to food security.

STRAWBERRY ROCKS.

Around 630, it was left with 8 of us and we go SIAO.

Wei Li was super duper funny when he sent an email (and wrote RANDOM things), and tried to enter leishi's blog to find the secret of the "white knight".

We did the back-t0-back reflection thingy and truth or dare. We also did chicken dance, chop chilli and cheers.

Quote: "TUI!!! TUI!! I CANNOT STAND!" - Leishi.

<3<3<3 XSP.

You know, sometimes, I wonder... which JC or poly we would end up in. Will some of us be together, or will we be separated? For once, in my 3 years in school, I wish I don't have to graduate. Unlike what the 2006 open house said,

XMS was never my home.
I was never given any chance to feel so.
I can't participate in a single:
homecoming
sportsday
N2D
Aesthetics performance
or even anniversaries

My absence, makes no difference to the numbers or scores.
I don't really belong here, do I?

but in XSP, I'm loved. (=

============================

50 Cent Coin

2010-01-11T17:59:00.011+08:00

Current mood: Crazy
Lesson: It's exhilarating to succeed, but it's more exhilarating to share someone's success

TODAY is a superb day, fuelled by a rare encounter and chat with Wei Li when going to school.

I'm ultra talkative today - a rare trait from a shy person like me.

On the other hand, english class was a graveyard. I'm really glad Wei Li is sitting next to me, because I might die of the silence...

Speaking of which, I'm so excited the SLs are back. The more the merrier.

Had height-and-weight taking session for PE today.

I grew shorter by 1 cm and heavier by 5 kg.

Though I am disappointed, I just pretended I'm growing muscles (OMG random). To those who succeeded me in terms of height, good job and lucky for you. I SHALL CATCH UP SOON *evil laughs*. (OMG SUPER random)

Blah. For chinese, Hua lao shi is in good mood and I'm LOVING chinese. That's totally unexpected.

Recess: SAI TAI YANG while eating.

Yingting was hyper too when she used her PE shirt as a cape and called herself superwoman. You can never not laugh if you sit beside her.

Congrats to Ruihao and Jovy for the GPA. And Ssgt Shili for her 6 A1s.

It's O level result time. I'm not nervous (because I never took any papers).... just bored. So I played with a 50 cent coin with Zheng Fong, Jia Hao, Fabian and Nghia. It's funny how something so simple could keep us occupied for an hour.

Anyways, the class scored lots of A1s for MT O level.

I was ecstatic.

Shaking hands, and screaming, I never felt so happy for OTHER people's results before. It's like an inspiration to me.

Some of you didn't reach your goals. And I really feel sorry. Don't feel so bad ok? You have 9 other subjects which can pull you up. There is still a chance to win.

50 cent coin

It shall serve to remind me of the joy of sharing success. All the more I want to reach out to everyone, share my notes, and lend a hand (or a shoulder).

I'm energised. Are you?

=========================

O.0 I like wearing oversized T shirts (OMG ULTRA random)

Lying on my bed, Cushions on my head

2010-01-11T04:07:00.004+08:00

Morning dawned at me
Awoken up at three
Lying on my bed
Cushions on my head

Staring at the sky
Wondering why
I missed you yesterday
But not today

You never noticed too
How I try to be like you
Hero-worship is a child's act
Liking you will not change this fact

The Computer screen
Glowed luminant green
Vented depression, I typed
you
you
you

...

Homework clean
Fan screamed
Files on desk
Deadlines messed

Panelling across the street
You peacefully sleep
Lying on your bed
Cushions on your head

With a balloon that is red

School lacks emphasis on art

2010-01-06T18:23:00.007+08:00

I've been having an attitude problem lately, and feeling dettached from the school.

I've been denying that "drawing" is my real talent.

I'm not a good debater, nor a school leader, nor a athlete, much less a musician. I'm just someone who can draw behind the scenes. And that's why I hate my talent so much. It's practically useless, unentertaining and not life-changing. I want other talents, because art isn't publically a popular talent...

Why is it that the school praises sports, performing arts and SINGING so much? And why is it that there is so little places, recognition or contests for "drawing"? I'm so sick of the saying: "finishing school for leaders", or the fact that XGT didn't include art. I feel deprived of such chances!

The world of art seems so small. We never see any major art contest like SYF, world cup, or anything...

Perhaps, it's a sign that I must take the initiative to make art more visible in school. I shall make art more exciting than sports or music. This is called an enterprising mind.

There have been new sculptures in school... they spoke to me, and gave me the inspiration to write this post. I've also signed up for the 65th anniversary logo contest and won. Yeah, the teachers said they liked the interesting way I potrayed "65".

This is only the first step. Wish me luck (:

=========================

Should I start a drawing club? (exclusively for drawing, not general art)

Too much knowledge = complicated decisions

2010-01-05T16:43:00.002+08:00

Ok, I think my burn from XSP outing, isn't actually a burn.
I suspect it's an abrasion.
Or maybe it's a little of both.
I've placed bandaids, kitchen foil and anticeptic. And it still hurts.

Alright, the deal is: having too much knowlege can make things complex.

I mean, if I weren't a first aider, I'd probably say: "Oh, I got a burn. Just wash it."

But I seem to want perfection... and it resulted me in worrying about the diagnosis. Only to end up giving the wrong treatment...

Last time, I thought I had a fractured finger. I bandage my arm like crazy... only to find out its only a sprain...

As for my current wound/burn, I placed a bandaid mindlessly on half of it (because I couldn't decide). When I took it out, the skin tore into a laceration!

So, it's a partial abrasion-laceration burn. Stupid.

To non first aiders, you probably won't understand what I'm crapping about... but the moral is:

Being cautious is important, but overworrying about minute details won't help.

I figured I'd stick with simplicity. (:

Shall be interesting

2010-01-04T18:31:00.003+08:00

I suppose this year, school shall be more politcally active than ever.

Since many interesting things are happening simulataneously.

65th anniversary is definitely one of them.

and my isolated but super unique designed classroom...

XSP on wheels

2010-01-03T21:13:00.007+08:00

XSP went to East coast park to cycle and roller blade today.

When it came to roller blading, most of us were 1st timers.

Although at first it seems amusing to see a blue group of teens clinging on to one another in roller blades, moving like a snail and screaming out loud, you'd be astounded by how gracefully we fall and support one another.

There are those who scream at every second, and those who repeatedly fall.

But still moving.

I have a peeling, sticky second-degree burn on my calf thanks to the roller blades. But I don't mind the pain, knowing that my experience bar just increased. This trip has given me a fresh new start and I'm just ready face the tragedies of a graduating year!

Yeah, school sucks, but that's why I love it.

Tomorrow, when we go to school, our legs shall ache epicly.

But nevetheless, we know that this year started extreme.

=======================

What do rollerblades (or bicycles), symbolise to you?

Happy 250th post (((:

Time transitions

2010-01-02T14:50:00.006+08:00

It's 2010, and time for changes and resolutions.
That's what people always say.
They think 2010 means a new them.

And they throw 2009 away.

I mean, it's kinda sad throwing away you old self.
Don't you ever miss the times you had in the past? (even if it's bad)
I already missed mine.

At this point in time, I'm still not in 2010 nor in 2009.
Maybe halfway in between...

Still.

Treasure your past. [=

=======================

Some people say I talk to myself too much. I'll stop, ok?

Alright.

2009-12-31T13:31:00.002+08:00

I talk too much to myself

Forbidden Senior-Junior relations

2009-12-30T19:42:00.009+08:00

I used to think that everyone was like me.

Big mistake.

In sec 1, I was a strong believer of senior-junior relationships. One that would create a sense of belonging and mutual understanding.

I used to be very close to a senior (name, I shall not mention), 2 years ago. I remember once on MSN:

me: IC (that time), how come you didn't invite me to view your blog?
senior: well, because cpl (???) said we cannot be to close to your batch.
me: but why? does she hate me?
senior: no, she doesn't. it's in order for you all to respect us.
me: but IC, I like and respect you because you are nice, not because you are mean.
senior: aww. ok, invited ;)

I was naive then. Very.
I used to think: nice people= good, mean people= die b!tch!!!

I was determined to break the barrier that coexist between seniors and juniors, mainly due to my hurt experience. I want juniors to understand the rationale of our actions. I wanted change.

Been trying to say that. But I fear you think i'm being too crazy and never brought it up again. ever. Till this day, because Sir had voiced everything I wanted to say for 3 years.

===============================

There was just ONE BIG PROBLEM, that I failed to discover.

People are different. For 2 years, I took juniors for first aid. I really thought that being nice would work out good, but I only made things worse...

Closing one eye, I've spoilt them. My peers worked hard. All it took was one nice guy to spoil it. I ruined it.

Perhaps, my thick skull shall never fully understand the forbiddancy of a senior-junior relationship which I still dearly treasure.

I regret. not because of what you did. but because of what I did.

- to my juniors

================================

I may snap soon. My evil side ain't pretty people.

Parallel Universe - CCAs

2009-12-29T21:29:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling really isolated from my SJAB squad mates lately. Actually, this feeling has been with me for quite long... like let's say... SEC ONE? D:

Have you ever wondered, how it's like if you joined another CCA? Well I really do. I've studied a little about parallel universes. And that it's possible that another YOU could be living right now doing something slightly different.

Volleyball, library and choir were all nearly my CCA. Maybe somewhere out there, there is another me, where my appeal to SJAB was declined.

What kind of person would I be in another CCA?

If I'm in volleyball, I'm sure I'd be the shortest player lol. Perhaps, I'd REALLY know what it's like to be a champion. And have treasured teammates (:

Or maybe I'd be a librarian. I'd go there every recess and yell at people to be quiet. (: And I'd read, loving my job.

Or I could be in the chorale. Travelling overseas. Sing with scholars. and become equally talented in music as my sister. MUHAHA YES >:)

...

Or perhaps, the other mes are having it rough. And they wish they were in SJAB.

Well. Recently, I've falled completely in love with... the media club <3

No, I'm not betraying St John!

It's just that... things seems so much simpler there. There may not be a lot of CCA points, but they're a big family of four (departments). Well... I could be biased since I've met many awesome people there this year. You know who you are ;)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh dear. I don't seem to be treasuring what I'm having. OMG, seriously, this isn't like me. Forget what I said.

=============================

I try to be nice
so I willingly
let people manipulate me
so I can be their friend
Yet I want something in return
which I usually I don't get
And I think people hate me
and I think I did something wrong
So, I try to be nicer
so I wilingly
let people manipulate me
...

Needle

2009-12-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

I thought you liked me liked me
But you just liked me
Perhaps, I am like
a needle in your haystacked life

trying to mend you
but only hurting you more

You were important to me
and I thought I was to you
But that was just a delusion
You have much better things to do
than to be with me

I'm just a friend
nothing less
nothing more

It's forbidden
but i thought you'd figured out
that I am waiting eternally

Despite knowing the chances we meet
is like finding that needle in a haystack
But apparently,
that needle

isn't even there

Blue christmas

2009-12-25T22:09:00.001+08:00

Unlike the tale, no star in sight,
For the city was bathed in light.
Festive colours of green and red,
Spins around my lethargic head.

My legs hurt from door to door
What's with christmas any more?
Sang carols till the clock said 2
My voice was gone this christmas blue

Gingerbread, pretzel and cookie mound
I grew heavier yet by another pound
Singaporean winter: rains from heaven
Pitter patter makes it 24/7

Contradictions were christmas bringing
A silent night with sleighbells ringing?
A peaceful night with rehersals and singing?
I certain lost what's Christmas meaning.

Kampuchea Tales #7 - Still nights

2009-12-22T22:50:00.010+08:00

Rest of December Holidays. AKA SLOTH (Simply lonely on the holidays)

Been thinking alot at the oppotunities that passed me by.
The world can carry on without me.
For I am in no positions. Just floating around.

So I must start now, or is too late?

Kampuchea Tales #6 - Needs and Wants

2009-12-20T14:21:00.004+08:00

1 December 2009. The last day in Cambodia.

We were at the Russian market. After the inccident at the Angkor Wat, where I was "harmlessly" cheated by the keychain girl, I did a lot of shopping to satisfy myself.

I used almost all my money.
52 US dollars had gone bad.
Everything I saw, I wanted.
Should I feel happy or sad?

And there came a point where I really don't know who I was.
Material goods are temporary. Yet, we all crave for it.
In the end, we urbaners are still bombarded with...

Advertisements, Bargains, Sales!

And we're stuck in the abyss of temptations

Had a strange dream. I was 6 and given a box of chocolates with other kids. I saw that the chococlates were detailed and perfectly sculptured (rabbits, candles, etc.) While other kids ate theirs immediately, I felt it's such a waste to eat them and I gave them to random people on the streets.

I know, to you, this is some child-fairytale dream.
But it's sort of a reminder, of my childhood.
When I was young, I always saved the best for last and wanted to share
Have I been a glutton lately?

At times, I wished I was in Savong orphanage...

where a bicycle means everything.

:D

2009-12-20T13:05:00.007+08:00

She started off, not as a white dove
but a balancing raven on threadbare love
Sitting in the nest of flames- a vindication
Of her strength, her name, and her re-creation
Fearing not rejection nor social hate
Her feelings overtures to contemporary fate

Clout he had, but with provoking air
He was mired in his delusive lair
Yet still unyielding to a humpty's fall
His silent calls brings hope to all
Mindfully amiable, he knows what he does
Heights he will reach, no doubt, no fuss

Side by side we climbed up those hills
to fetch inspirations in rusty pails
Despite hollow rancours we all possess
I love you guys, you are the best!

- Dedicated to Leishi and Liren :D

P.S. Pretty rough poem... sorrys.

Aiming for VJC

2009-12-16T19:04:00.005+08:00

Aiming for VJC.

I don't wanna go to some college USA, but mom wants me too.

I prefer to stay in Singapore, my hometown.

Oh dears. I'm the opposite of other people.

Cambodia Post-its

2009-12-16T10:45:00.007+08:00

Cambodia is upside down. literally.

Their light switches. Up=on, down=off.

The word "sony" was printed upside down on the TV

The larger side of the styrofoam food box is the cover.

And now... I understood.

That the sticky sides of post-it notes are faced up.

I wasted time, writing on the wrong side.

Have I been doing things wrongly as well?

============================

Note to self: Don't buy Cambodian post-its. They don't really stick.

Hence, I decided to waste them by studying Chinese:

I failed. GB wins

Crossover

2009-12-15T01:37:00.007+08:00

A normal post after a tedious period of reflection.

I've noticed that lots of Sec 3s are having their crossovers. That means: they are gonna stop playing, and study hard for 'O's.

So I've decided, that I shall do the same.

I'm left with maths, english, chinese and a bit of physics left. (Finished Chem and History!) Not to mention: NYP, XSP reflections/initiatives and AC trainings to go!!

I also need to restock my wadrobe because my clothes are so tiny now. :O Lately, I've been meddling around with the music industry. Exploring all sorts of music and neglecting my art. Music is so addictive... D:

Stalked and caught a cockroach just now.

I've also caught the facebook syndrome. must... stop...

I hope my crossover succeeds...

Let's work hard together everyone! ^^

Kampuchea Tales #5 - Fragmented history

2009-12-13T20:05:00.007+08:00

30 November 2009. Visit to genocide musuem AKA S-21 in Polpot's regime.

Authorities
Black n white
Chilled
Dried
Empty
Faces
Gruesome
Haunts

It's hard for me to feel much. I don't share the same roots as the Cambodians, how can I ever feel hated and wrath? It's simply impossible to comprehend this. I never experienced a regime before.

Hence, I feel angry at myself for not feeling angry. A mixed-up irony?

The tour guide lady, unlike me, was a survivor. She suddenly talked about her experience about running away. Her family's gone. Her daughter died. As I hear an eyewitness recount, I feel more accustomed to their feelings.

The lady now earns a living off her unwanted memoirs. For the sake tourism, Cambodians are re-living the past.

What does this all mean?

History shapes the present

And here, is a legion of questions. Brace yourselves people:

Cambodia is supposed to be agricultural society. And there is a sudden leap to tourism.

Is there a short-term economic growth? Are service sectors just pretending to please the tourists for the sake of surviving? Do they even have a long-term goal to improve the standard of living?

Will the young ones ever accept Polpot's regime? Will adults ever overcome their past? Will the government try to cover black history up? Is education the missing piece to development? Is the newest generation the ones needed to lead Cambodia?

How many orphanages are out there? Are there some that no one ever knows? Is it fair that money always goes to the well-publicised ones? Who's the real people in charge of the orphanages?

Is the government doing enough? Or can they even do anything? Do the money we send ever reach the poor? Is everything engulfed in corruption and pandemonium, or is there still hope? What initiatives have been done? Are they effective enough? And why... are there so many unanswered questions?

But most of all: What's next for Cambodia?

Maybe, no one shall ever know...

Kampuchea tales #4 - Give by taking

2009-12-11T16:19:00.012+08:00

29 Novemember 2009. The day that everyone says is impossible to describe. But being the stubborn boy I am, here are 7 couplets.

Each block finds a place in art
Plastic bricks built from their heart

Pencils scratch on papered floors
Draw open life's infinite doors

Folded sheets of nature's wood
Rivet the ceilings with pristine good

Melodic rhymes and nurseric beats
Fill the rooms with alacritous feets

Whispered words with he who reads
Brings to light their daily needs

Plans were buried in sunburnt clay
Innocent musings had swept the day

Everyone's tied by an invisble cord.
Though each orphan's on his own accord.

Unfortunately, language has a limitation. Indeed, no words can explain the mixed feelings we had. Reality brings limits.

We came, while knowing that life won't improve.
They opened up to us, while knowing that we will go.
Nothing bad will change, nothing good will stay.
Don't you wish things were the other way?

========================================

HUGS.

========================================

My greedy arms never want to let go...
I don't deserve it, but I want more...
Do you hear my heartbeat rising?...
Am I selfish?...

Our visit to Savong Orphanage.
We did what we could
Which isn't much.
We took more.
We feel guilty.

But it's through taking, that we gave to the orphans as well.

It's a never ending cycle.
We took this experience, now let's give it.

Share it to the next generation of scholars.

and the next...
and the next...
and the next...

No replies

2009-12-11T01:02:00.004+08:00

I spoke online.
Got no replies
Waited for it.
Time just flies.
Have I talked weird,
That people feared,
I am stalking them with shifty eyes?

My loggohorea,
is off the hook.
Tried to stop.
I can't look.
For their bore,
Could last no more.
Yet they dare not say my gobbledygook.

I'm so free.
Too much time.
Is no comments,
considered fine?
To me, it counts
as it amounts
to the friendship that we might bind.

Time can't wait,
They're all not free.
To spare a second,
To talk with me.
But please, reply,
if we pass by,
For I want to know what you think of me.

Kampuchea Tales #3 - Soft

2009-12-10T13:08:00.014+08:00

28 November 2009. Yet another disturbing road to self discovery. This day, my beloved XSP went to the orphanage again.

But the road begins in the bus. I had been denied the chance to play "tap tap" (a game on Wei Li's iphone), even after bugging him several times. When he finally let me play, he added jokingly that it was because I was kind of too soft.

Soft? Sensitive?
Am I too passive?
I don't wish to put it this way,
but is my character kind of gay?

But there's a chance to prove em wrong
When the swapover brought some labour along
This was my chance to show em my spirit!
Pray for me folks, I'll just do it!

So you get the picture. A hypersensitive boy trying to prove his manness in the middle of Cambodia. How more exciting can it get?? :)

Mixing Cement

150kg of cement mix.
18 buckets of sand.
Nearly a gallon of water.
These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect cement.
But XSP added an extra ingredient to the concotion -- Enthusiasm.

*The above statement already proves my childishness. * ----- Just kidding!

On a more serious note, I shed my blood, sweat and tears trying to mix the pile of mess up. I was really determined to make a difference.

I didn't complain.
But I grew weary.
For I wasn't aware of that missing ingredient.

It was only when the scholars sang riduculous songs, did I realise the importance of child-like behaviours. No amount of manly labour placed can amount in strength to the joy of the youthfulness within.

To be hard, you also had to be soft.

Painting

WAIT. It doesn't just end here. The next activity was the painting of the rooms. Not only did we just sing songs, we even roleplayed characters*.

*Roleplay
Lydia - Phua Chu Kang
Wern Chieh - Bob the builder
Liren - Siti
Marcus - Wanita

Do you sense a paradox? The girls were construction workers and the guys were maids! Despite our exotic, oriental filipino behaviour, the guys' job as maids were to sweep the grasshopper-infested room. They are unwanted, dead and alive. Yes, the guys were the only ones daring for the job.

I managed to pick one up, and sweeped it to freedom

First Aid

I had a lot of cuts from the wire fence while painting, but I'm proud of them. NO bandaids for me. But I did give treatment to Sofia and Wei Li, who had large incisions. And the rule of thumb of being a first aider is...

Tender Loving Care

Whoa. Fate keeps telling me to remain as soft as I am now.

After that, We went shopping

...

Hey! Who said shopping wasn't manly? :D

=========================================

All of us bought gifts for the children. We used $368 for

Sugar, rice and everything nice.

Bicycles were the more valued gifts. They literally SQUEALED for joy.

But to me, the best gift of all...

Is the softness in your heart

Kampuchea tales #2 - Fear

2009-12-09T17:31:00.009+08:00

Cockroaches are my greatest fear.

Not anymore.

27 November 2009. "Savong orphanage". The name itself is the assumed answer for the child who questions his parents abdonment.

I played with you dearies, yet I wasn't participating.

Green is my colour,
I picked it yesterday.
Peaceful but passive
But very envious.

That is my innate sin.
Jealousy was eating me up.
My self esteem had vapourised.
I lacked interaction or leadership.
I wasn't really emotionally impacted.
I longed to know how the others did it.

I begin to wonder, unfortunately, why I was even here in the first place. Do I even deserve to be here??. And I feel out of place when everyone displays their abilities. Everyone has a talent, I haven't found mine yet.

Soon, my cynical brain was cloudy.
I doubted who I really am.
but I didn't show it.
No one noticed, to my relief.

But in me, I desire that people will know. Hence, I picked the brick wall and broken pot chiji card in our reflection time. The wall represents the exterior, visible features and the pot is our soul. The meaning was simple:

Even if a person looks strong, it doesn't mean he is never weak.
Even if a person looks happy, it doesn't mean he is never sad.
Even if a person looks simple, it doesn't mean he hasn't have a complex problem.

The next thing I knew, I met a cockroach in the toilet.

It was huge.

Instinctively, I decided to catch it. It happened very fast. I had no idea that catching a cockroach was so easy. It went down the toilet. Flush, flush, flush.

I had overcome the dreaded fears
of the insect which lived a million years
The logic behind it is now clear.
For envy is my new greatest fear.

"Will I overcome this new fear?" I ask.

And it was as though the cockroach said, "If you could flush me, I think so."

~

2009-12-09T17:27:00.003+08:00

Oh crap. There's still a lot of homework.

*~* Feeling a bit lovesick. I want to mingle.

Not in the mood to do work.

Culture shock

2009-12-08T23:06:00.009+08:00

Innocently went to BBQ hosted by Lucas. Most of the people, whom I don't know, are kinda hardcore. (no offence)

There's some smoking, beer, piercings, rebonded/dyed hair, vulgarities and even hanky panky.

This experience with Liberal Singaporeans as a stark contrast with the rural Cambodian kids I just met a week ago. My brain hurts a little from seeing two great extremes within a fortnight.

Even within Singapore, people lead different lives. Liberals, though they break rules, lead their lives freely. But we conservatives have a planned route in life. It all just goes down to social divisions... where reality says we can't fit too perfectly. ):

And sometimes, I wonder is laws have diluted our freedom of taste and sense of style.

'Do we plan our lives, our do our lives plan for us?'

Just a daring thought from another perspective. :D

Kampuchea art.

2009-12-05T12:19:00.004+08:00

Expression in art. No copyrighted licence. Feel free to save.

Cambodia (overall thoughts)

2009-12-03T21:11:00.025+08:00

The quest to ameliorate the orphans' pyschological scars may not be long-term, but there was something genuine about that smile that the young ones evoked.

We never could comprehend that they established pure trust in our visit to Savong Orphanage. We thought both the language and psychological barriers implanted only a small degree of friendship. Yet, despite the fact that our stay was short, they cherished every moment they could, not fearing the loss of a friend. This was a great agape that transcends between the borders of differing worlds.

And we never want it to end.

It was through God's will and our destiny that broke the invisible gates between scholars and orphans. This was a chance of a lifetime, and we must cherish it. Don't be sad it ended, be glad it happened.

==========================================

Personally, my mother said I had matured by my request to pray for the sick in the group. No longer was I that hopeless, lil boy who gets kicked around by circumstances and mired in relationships. I had hatched into a firm young man, able to make decision and ready to face reality.

Indeed, I feel this new beginning, the very start of the next chapter in my life. I had overcomed my greatest fear of all - Kastaridaphobia (fear of cockroaches). I didn't know how it happened, but because I wanted to help my roommate, I just caught the cockroach, and flush it down the toilet. All without a single thought. It just happened instinctively.

I also discovered my materialistic nature, despite my denial, in the story of the Keychain girl. Ohh, the guilt is still lingering in me! I'm blinded by my own money that I did not see the true poverty in Cambodia! I can't stop thinking about it.

Each day brings a test and torture to our emotions. Emotions that I'm sure that everyone knows no human language can explain. It's the unfathomable idea that we can never do anything, ever, to ameliorate their plight. And yet we still came.

I guess you already know how sensitive I am to everything. I'm really sorry to anyone I acted cold towards. Despite my sanguine, naive exterior, I secretly cry in my heart everyday. That's why I brought up the "broken pot, brick wall" analogy that just because someone is strong outisde doesn't mean he is weak inside.

But now, I guess I should be happy about how much I've grown. It was never possible without God or anyone else.

==========================================

And socially, I begin to understand the xinmin scholars. The days we sang while painting. The eccentricism which fuels our energy. And the fact that we could scream "I LOVE YOU", proves that this XSP batch is deep, and we are unique. I admire everyone, I really really mean it!!!

In my previous CIP trip to Thailand, when I shouted "I love you", my own friends called me insane. That, of course, is the average Singaporean reaction. But we are special, does anyone notice that? Ohh how I wish I could know XSP better! Why must the trip be at the end of XSP?

However, I suffer an insecurity breakdown now. In the reflection booklet: "You support and nuture your best people by genuinely celebrating their victories and supporting their good ideas. Feeling threatened by their success is not you." That is the thing which pulls me down. The thing is, the ONLY life-changing thing for me about 2009 was this trip. I had failed to take part in more projects like most of the other scholars. I guess my envy is growing and eating me up. I don't know what to do... ):

Perhaps, one day, everyone might forget this whole thing. It might end up, lost in the spectrum of memories, as we continue our lives towards adulthood. While many of us are fearing that the children will forget them, I fear the scholars will forget me. We share lot so of time togther... I've learnt so much about everyone, and I don't want to lose you guys. Am I being selfish? :\

There, I said it.

"I want to be remembered." - What does it mean?

- Signing off, Marcus

========================================

Quotes I remember (sorry, I didn't record everyone's):

We were too busy planning the activities that we did not see what they were planning to say - Wern Chieh

Do not be held back by what you cannot do, just do it - Wei Li

Love transcends the barrier of language and culture - Esther

But to start off, we must change ourselvs - Sylvester

Ignorance is bliss (for insects) - Sylvester

It’s a country that doesn’t have a direction, that’s just trying to survive, and in the process making it even harder to go forward - Liren

It’s a country where people put up shows for us all to see, not wanting anybody to see what’s underneath for fear of losing the chance of survival - Liren

It’s a country where people either live in extreme poverty or in extreme wealth, and no in between - Liren

Improvement starts with an I - Mr Tay

Knowledge is useless if you don't apply it - Mr Tay

Do you want educate the kids or inspire them to educate themselves? - Mr Tay

Don't go back thinking we have done nothing, neither think we have done alot - Mr Tay

'Make an impact' is ambiguous - Ms Lie

Kampuchea tales #1 - The keychain girl

2009-12-03T17:52:00.009+08:00

I'm going to write deep thoughts about Cambodia trip here. It's kinda long, so sorry.

26 November 2009. The sun was glaring directly above, trying to penetrate the solid walls of the Angkorwat, the magnficent temple which faced West, as though to say "Both of us have been taken forgranted".

Right in front of it was a pond of water lilies which were swarmed with peddlers, each anticipating tourists to sell goods. But admist the crowd of people who try to steal their customers, if you look really closely, you see the hearts of the young ones who barely get US$1 a day.

There were scarfs, hats, sunglasses, paintings, books, bracelets, shirts, fruits, drinks and all of the little ornaments and pieces that makes Cambodia what it is.

But amongst them was a girl around 10 who was selling keychain-nailclippers about US$5 each. I call her the keychain girl. She wore a hat, longsleeved but thin clothes, and her hair was dishevelled. She looked very carefully, with much effort, not to lose sight of any tourist who might become a potential customer.

I became a victim of compassion, as you might call it, when she approached me. Of course, the scholars were adviced to ignore them lest we end up spending all our money.

I haggled and bargained will I got around US$3 but I decided to walk away.

She couldn't bear to lose her customer, perhaps I could be her first today. She told me, "Red shirt guy, please wait, I give you for $2." I turned back to see her running to me. I really didn't know what to say and decided to give $2 to her and pocket the keychain.

It was a bronze angkorwat.

"Thank you!" she said, her eyes were gleaming at the crisp notes.

After a while, I met another women who sold keychains. She was much older, and carried with her, a basket to put her products in. Like everyone else, she dared not lose a customer. When I passed her, she told me, "6 for $5". Instantly, I stopped.

What a great deal! Each keychain that was worth less than a dollar! But do I really need another 6? Such a price its unimaginable. Without stopping ot think, I gave in to my lustful heart and flaunted $5 to her.

As I was about to leave, the keychain girl approached me again, asking me to buy her items for $2. I had enough of all this price raising business! "I bought 6 for $5, you sell me 1 for $2??" I snapped at her. The girl was taken aback but she quickly added, "I sell you another 5 for $3". But what was I to do with 12 keychains? I walked away, without a word or any soul, while she tries to persuade me again, "Another 5 for $3, red shirt guy! Good deal??"

I suddenly felt horrible. As though I had fallen right into their plans and have been cheated. I hated myself for being so sensitive and comapssionate. They were just people eating of the tourism money, and you call that fair?? And thus, I complained, to my friend, Leishi who also fell into a tourist trap.

Back at the hotel, I suddenly recalled the whole situation and wonder what I appear to be like . I mean, did the girl have a choice to raise the price ($5)? It wasn't really her fault that she is poor or anything. I suddenly feel a stirke of guilt at how selfish I had become that day. $2 was just a pinch of wealth to me, but a day's luxury for the not so well-to-do Cambodians. How could I have been so materialistic? How could i treat the keychain girl in such a rude manner? Was my compassion to buying the $2 keychain really out of compassion or was it just because the price dropped from $5 to $2?

Now, the bronze angkorwat lies in my treasure box, for it leaves behind the memories of my horrendous lust. It's meaning is priceless but I bought it at $2.

Now that's a great deal to me.

Less than 24 hours to Cambodia

2009-11-24T22:37:00.005+08:00

Today was wasted to slack off before going cambodia.

I went to hougang point to buy 30 gift bags, onyl to realise after I came back that there are 40 serts of gifts...

Helped Claudia print geog stuff today. hahaha, I remember yesterday the geog group placed the leaning towe of pisa in USA. ROFL

Tried removing some clothes because having 8 shirts and 7 pants is a little to exaggerated. So, I dropped it to 6 shirts 5 pants.

Sorted out stapler bullets today and I had no choice but to place them into ziplock bag because no container. CRUSH CRUSH.

My mom insisted I use her old phone, so must trasfer sim card. However, the phone not working very well, so had to retransfer back hahahaha.

Just received a call 10 seconds ago.
*picks up phone*
Old man: Ahhhhh
Me: Ahhhh
Old man: Ahhhhh?
Me: Ahhhh....
Old man: Ahhhh!
Me: Sorry, I think you got wrong number
Old man: Ahhhhh
*off*
Me: PRANKER D:

anyways,
CAN'T WAIT TO GO.

segment of lyrics from "AZN pride - got rice"
"Vietnam to Japan to Mongolia. Philippines to Taiwan to CAMBODIA"

BYE BYE FOR A WEEK PEEPS.

Proud to be Asian (((:

2 days to Cambodia

2009-11-23T21:47:00.004+08:00

Can't believe that I'm going overseas so soon.

At 12am, Sherry and I were panicking because we didn't tell Bravo to get landyard. Then, like I feel sorry for "arguing" with her about what to do. I wanted to ask Serene what we should do but she don't want make Serene angry.

Also, I thought landyard=string part only, not the whole thing hahaha. I'm so stupid.

Ok, XSP... do origmami and packing? hahaha. Made big origamis!!! Serene's pretty boat was also used as a shoe and Liren added a stick to make a high heel. LOL.

Okok, then we learnt the Cambodian language by Ana, Sofia and Vicki!! It's sooo soo hard ok?

Mr Tay also let me check through the first aid kit.

Went back to play facebook. I'm just too lazy to do any holiday homework before the trip.

My mum got US money and 2 locks for me. I'm like very frustrated because some keys don't work with 1 lock and I added some "OIL" to the lock... still not working.

So I ended up separating the keys to "works on both locks" and "works only 1 lock". Sigh sigh.

I feel abit down today. Not sure why. I'm a bit scared I will get alineated from casual convervsation in the trip.

The days pass so quickly...

3 days to Cambodia

2009-11-22T19:51:00.005+08:00

Sunday!!!

I rushed to email lots of people, clear up origami and pack bag!!!

Ahhhh. Oh, i emailed Mr Tay on whether we have fist aid kit. Saftey is priority you know!!! Kinda nervous about my responsibility as first aider.

Lots of ppl have trouble opening the origami zip... the solution was to wait a while, then can liao.

Went with my mom to buy stuff for trip!!! when i place stuff in car, my mom ran off to buy mince meat and I lost her lol. Then got the summoner guy come to give ticket. HENG i was there cos later he charge my mom. God is so good!

Leishi recovered! YES! I'm now talking to her and updating her stuff...

I'm mingled with many tasks today.
Mingle, mingle, I want to mingle

4 days to Cambodia

2009-11-21T22:59:00.006+08:00

Today, went to church with jie jie n stuff. Yep. Marcus (the 9 yr old) and Zachery were like in front and we shook hands. I asked them if they knew who I was and they said "Joel's friend?" lol.

But honestly, I don't really know Joel that well, so I was a bit sad when I heard that.

I was one of those planning to go Shanice house today for the youth social gathering. Fiona didn't know there was pathfinder? she said she wan quit until master guide course and because very little ppl.

So I wonder whether I should quit also....

Has some lunch then went pathfinders.

When auntie alicia ask who wan join the master guide class next year, I like dunno whether should or not.... cos got O level.

Sigh. I'm a bit sad for no reason.

Jie jie drove me to Shanice house and I met brownie the chihuahua-jackrussell mix bred dog. So cute. Marcus Jr. was so friendly with it.

As for me, it's a different story. When I think I squeezed him too much when I pick him up.... THE DOG HATES ME!!! He went to bite me twice. The second time was repititive.

But somehow, I wasn't that scared. When I was in kindergarten, I remembered when my neighbour's maid open her gate, and their dalmation ran out and bite my arm. That, time is was bleeding.

But brownie didn't make me bleed... only a bit of hives since I'm slightly allergic to dog? Not that serious la.

My conclusion is that I'm 90% zoosadistic? (based on marcusstats.com) Last time I have lots of stuff animals, I squeeze them damn hard. No choice mah, I used to hugging tightly. I also find happy tree friends as a normal comedy.

Sad la. I want to have a cat next time, but how???

Had some games. 1st one was a taboo thingy by Derek and another one was a History gameshow by Hong Qi. I like HQ's game cos its so challenging and involves GK! GK FTW!

Went back with Derek's car. and guess what?

I had chance to talk to Joel (finally). So we talk about our school, hobby, anime. bla bla. Ohhh and we both hate hate hate chinese. HAHAHAHA! We jiap kentang one!!!

So, I guess I feel okay now...

OH OH OH! I remembered that Lei Shi was absent yesterday for XSP. I hope she recovers soon. It won't be the same without her in Cambodia ))))))):